---|| Organic Poison ||---

Im In That Thang!!

2011-11-10T13:06:00.000-08:00

Who is going to Watch The Throne???

I AM BITCHES!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! I'm so excited I'm already plotting my outfit and deciding if im going to come into work that day! I almost wasn't going to go the tickets were ridiculously priced and before I got to really even look for the tickets they were sold out. But, Jay an Ye must have felt like "aint no party if Kam isn't there" lol and added a last minute extra show to Los Angeles visit. I was late on that as well when a friend told me about it while we were in the club. So Im sitting in the club credit card ready on my cell phone trying to buy tickets and to my luck they shut the buying process down. Why when i got home at 3am I stalked them tickets till a good 6am till they opened it back up and got my hands on the ticket which was almost sold out any way. God was gracious.

My friend was gona go with me until she told me she couldn't afford them, so unfortunately Ill be going solo dolo :( ; but Im sorry this is an opprotunity I can't pass up Im a HUGE Jay-Z fan and I never been to a Kanye concert. Ive been to my first Drake concert alone and it worked to my advantage so maybe this will be a good thing. I have fun wherever I go so Ima have a Ball. So on Tuesday, December 13, 2011, Im gona watch and hear to the throne and Im so excited YAAYYYY. Last year me and my best friend went to see the Blueprint 3 Tour and we had so much fun with these guys that sat next to us they were dancing with me and everything. i hope I sit next to cool people. If you are going as well and you see me say hello so we can party together :).

Pay that Nigga alimony so you know its real!!

2011-11-03T02:14:00.000-07:00

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries-Kardashian is getting a divorce and you know what.... the world turns as well. This hoe here and you know what I don't like calling Kim a hoe but the proof is in the jello pudding pops!! Im so over this girl and her groupie ass. I wanted to say that this girl was living,, breathing normal woman thats a sucker for love but now Im just like she is a the best opportunist I have ever seen in my life and she does the shit so fucking well you almost can't be mad at her. Im starting to think she put out her own damn sex tape to catapult her own ass into stardom because it was executed so well. See this is why she gets this up and coming you dont really know him black men on her team...so she can drop them respectively with a profit. She couldnt pull this shit with no P. Diddy trust and believe. See all that bitch thought of was dolla signs and the dream of having a fairytale wedding and some damn scenes for her scripted show she was running out of ideas I'm sure.

Now let me play devils advocste and really disect the heartbreak. Bitches like Kim get on my nerves and im gonna explain what I mean by bitches like her. Im talking about the women that are forever in relationships,, serial monogamist who think they shittin on the next bitch because they are never single. However,, your vagina is still occupied by numerous dick throughout the year because you cant keep one. She may be have profited off this wedding/5 min marriage but what does that say about your character and your dry ass vagina and personality??

Kim needs to get it together because she needs to figure why she old as she is,, as beautiful as she is *with makeup on*,, she cant make an honorable image out of herself and be able to keep a man. Cuz I feel she is as shallow as a bird bath and as dry as Khia's dreads.

Halloween 2011

2011-11-03T00:50:00.000-07:00

This was me on Halloween,, crazy enough I was the same thing I was last year but last year I didn't really do much so I re-birthed the costume...Hey I gets my money's worth!! I was a sailor but my kids at work thought I was a pirate so hey...I went to the annual West Hollywood Halloween Parade for the first time and boy did I have fun. It was definitely a night to remember,, thats all I'm gona say for now lol...(.more photos to come)

(full body of the costume take last year but I loveeee this pik!!)

Everyday Im Tumblrin!!

2011-08-03T16:41:00.000-07:00

Hey you guys Ive been kinda absent lol,, yes I know but Im trying ton get back in the hang of blogging. I however, have been on Tumblr heavy,, I love my tumblr because I can express myself visually and Im such a visual person so I love it. Check out my Tumblr if you like....

organicpoison.tumblr.com

Run The World

2011-06-29T17:33:00.000-07:00

I saw this and was like damn the dancing in this is better than Bey's and I stan for the Queen. I loved it,, and crazy enough this video was posted before the original on BeyonceVevo on Youtube.I wish I could dance like this I would be all money in lol.

No County for Broken Hearts

2011-06-12T00:36:00.000-07:00

So its been a minute since I posted and I thought I would like to share a little of whats been going on with me. So much has happened its not even funny in all aspects from relationships, money, and just basic life. It scares me almost on how problematic and hopeless my love life is that I almost assume it wont get better. Im so over it at this point it overwhelms me,, if that even makes sense. A couple months ago I was played like Ive never been played in my life,, i still have nightmares about it. Im slowly recovering,, but Im sorry to admit that it has pushed me away from the feeling I will ever be in love with anyone. Its like my heart was made to be broken. Im finding myself gettin used to the pain to where when things go wrong I dont even cry because it bound to happen.

I cant hardly think straight when it comes to how I feel about giving my heart to a man. i would love to but it feels its not worth it in all for him to just break it. men dont give a damn about feelings and Ive come to believe they are all the same. Yes I said it all men are the same,, they are all filled with bullshit and some just grow out of it faster than others. Im giving up Im throwing in the towel and i really dont care anymore what anyone has to say. yes Im bitter, mostly Im hurt and I dont even want to deal with it,, Im not strong enough at this point to care about love anymore.People associate being in Love as weak,, however,, Love is the strongest emotion to exude because it takes the most out of you. People are lazy so they dont want to put in the effort to love another,, they are only capable of thinking of self.

Two of the most realest songs out right now is Jhene' Aiko's "Stranger" and Beyonce's "Best Thing I Never Had." If you haven't heard them please do, they speak volumes to me right now in the worst way. Because Im such a nice,, loving person,, it makes it hard for me to not put effort into a man I'm feeling I'm not one for games but I guess in the dating world they have to be played so I follow suit but I just want thing to be organic. i want to meet someone who isn't planing to do me in. Someone to actually care about me and my feelings,, but I'm slowly starting to believe I can run for President and win before I could find love and that makes me sad.Ive been trying to dissect myself and wonder why I'm never the one to win in Love and War and I haven't figured it out yet,, I question who I am because I have failed so much I don't know what to do anymore,, I'm tired of waiting I'm tired of being patient I don't even want to look anymore or even be sought after I'm over it...bye bye to the thought of Love for now.

2011-03-01T11:18:00.000-08:00

__ill be back soon,, i promise :)

When I Need A Laugh...

2011-01-29T14:33:00.000-08:00

I watch these... Everytime!! Shit never gets old lmao

Arivaaadoche Biiiiittttccchhh!!

Run-Tell-Dat!

2011-01-29T13:49:00.000-08:00

In my life I have been through some crazy shit,, a lot of which I'm not proud of. However, the one thing I have always maintained was a good heart and good loyal standing to people I care about and I have come to realize that people don't have the same emphasis for the concept to me as I do. I'm a GREAT FRIEND!! I stand true to it. If I ride for you then consider that a blessing. But what I hate about my loyalty and heart has let people to still over look it and want to hurt me by taking my kindness for a sign to take advantage of me.

If you know me you know I'm a sweetheart and I'm so nice and welcoming to everyone I meet. its just who I am,, and some people don't appreciate that about me and it hurts me. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm just too caring. i care a lot of my image taking that there are people in my life that can ruin it if they choose too. I have had people who I trusted talk shit about me and say really mean things behind my back about me but never to my face. I feel that a lot of people in my life have only been around to use me. Ive been played by boys and girls and secretly it has eaten away at my confidence. For the first time in my life I'm learning to not give a fuck what people say and just live my life the way I choose to. I'm learning that people are gonna have an opinion of who I am no matter if I have done all the bad things in my life or not. I'm growing and they are growing so their opinion holds no wait because nobody is perfect.

A recent conversation about me by two people I care about was brought back to me and a lot of hurtful things were said and at this point I'm no longer mad at the words that were said I'm mad at the fact I cared so much about what was said to the point it made me question who I was. People talk shit,, that's something I can't change but what I can change is how I feel about it and how I address my actions. I stand by my faults and my accomplishments,, they teach me a lot about myself and life. It saddens me sometimes that I have to learn from some of my mistakes int he way I do but I'm just learning to accept the the things I have done as a story to tell and a lesson to learn. I used to be so wrapped up in others peoples thoughts and that's not the way to live.

2011-01-29T13:14:00.000-08:00

I have to say my favorite shoe designer right now has to be Gianmarco Lorenzi!! If I could ever get my hands on some money to buy shoes with a comma on the price tag,, his collection would be the first I would browse. I love how extreme these heels are they are so high fashion and would definitely get you noticed. I live only for platforms so his signature open platform is soooo me. Sexy in all the right places,, where is my rich husband at to get me these lmao!!

You're A Star In My Eyes ...

2011-01-29T11:56:00.000-08:00

Nicki Minaj - New Music - More Music Videos

I Love this video,, Nicki has definitely grown on me!

Asswholes Anonymous

2011-01-11T11:34:00.000-08:00

I dont know How it is, Where it is, or Why it is Im attracted to ASSWHOLES!! Like WTF!! I dont wana be like a typical bitter woman saying Men Aint Shit,, but according to Lyfe Jennings only 10% of good men are in the world for my liking that I have to compete with the rest of the women out there for. Now lets confess,, I have done my share of I aint shit moments,, we all have Im by far no saint... but my good by far out weighs my bad in my book because I know I have a very strong and well to do heart and always mean well even when Im wrong. (That makes sense trust me). But Im over it!! I would love a great guy but for some reason,, I only attract asswholes what is it about me that does that?? I have alot of soul searching to do I guess.

Im tired tho,, I just want to find a good guy who is about real things. I don't even like ass wholes,, but for some reason they are all I get. Where do the good,, sweet guys hang out at?? What social network do they frequent?? What church do they go to??(Cuz asshwholes are in there too). I just want a sweet guy who I dont have to tell how to be a gentleman he just already knows,, someone who like to see me smile and see me happy. Someone I don't have to worry if he is gona do some fucked up thing to me or try to manipulate and take advantage of me when I want to be nice and do nice things for him. Is that so hard to ask?? Why are guys more likely to being dicks than really nice guys. I guess yall are gona say because there are aint shit women are too and yes there are but when you find a girl who is really interested in you for all the right reasons,, why must you dog her out??

For 2011 I told yall Im not into being single anymore,, I want to not be with just anyone but I do want to be with someone special Im learning more about myself so I can be the great girl a guy guy would want but in the mean time the devil is a lie and a hater and keeps throwing sorry muhfuckas my way. The good part of this is that Im finding out early they arent right for me before I get too deep,, but it still is emotionally draining going on this hunt to nowhere. If you guys have any suggestions,, let me know especially you ladies who arent single in great relationships,, let me know how u bagged that lucky dude!!

Merry New Year!!

2011-01-06T17:22:00.000-08:00

Me on New Years Eve!

I feel ashamed because Im not in the blogging spirit I dont come to yall as frequently as I should smh... Shit sorry!! My Bad!! First let me say HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I hope yall had a blessed holiday season and u got everything u wanted and if u didnt better luck this year... hopefully. 2010 was a rough year for me I had alot of highs and lows and this time I have wishful thinking for the new year.

1. Get a better job: I love my job right now its fun I work with kids never a dull moment because they are so hilarious and they keep me on my toes,, but I never envisioned myself working with children I want to find a better paying job with more hours than what Im doing right now I have fulltime pay with part time hours,, something aint right. lol

2. Lose Weight: Yes I know thats what everyone wants and I feel there is nothing wrong with having this as an option. A lot goes on in a year and sometimes you get off track in your diet,, I'm definitely one of those people I need to reevaluate some things and crack down on my body and get it right by my birthday (Sept. 12th) because Im going on a cruise to 5 different islands and I wanna wear a really cute bathing suite and feel good while I prance around on the beach like Beyonce in the "Broken Hearted Girl" video. Wish me luck with that!

3. Get a man: Im over being single yes Ive reached my breaking point!! I'm alone as alone can get. I have no boo what so ever!! I'm tired of this. Recently I saw my first love int he most awkward time. I was looking cute but I was with another guy who happened to be related to him *yup you read right* I have written about me getting over my first love but I haven't really and seeing him brought back so many memories and I craved them. Did I mention he looked good,, and I mean reallllllly good. He is doing better for himself now and I'm a lil bitter because I was with him at one of his lowest moments now he is all super fly and isn't single I feel some type of way... I digress... but I want someone of my own I think its time.

4. Find my niche in life: Its about time I really step my game up. Ive been out of school for over a year now and Im not doing what I want to do. Yes we are in a recession but I still am unsure of what my career is supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing and that is bothering me. I need to be proud of where I'm trying to go and where Im at and I don't feel wither right now.

5. Get new Friends: Soooo I realized I don't really have a best friend anymore. I have close friends but I don't trust nobody anymore. People are mickey and I learned a lot about friendship in 2010 more than any year of my life. Crazy enough I always had a feeling about certain people but they have been showing their ass lately and I realized I need to be more selfish. I care waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy tooo much about people and what people think and it has gotten me in trouble emotionally. this year I want to just focus on me and get a stronger "Fuck you and what your going through" gene inside of me.

6. Travel: I need to go to more places than Vegas 10 times out the damn year. Im always in Vegas. (Well I didn't go for New Years and I regret that,, but I was too broke because of all the other times I went in the year). I want to go to Mardi Gras, Miami, Atlanta etc. all the popping places FuntimesUSA has to offer me. I'm really excited for this cruise. I don't care if I go in major debt I'm going on this cruise,, it leaves outta Miami so that's one city down.

Where The HELL is Kam??

2010-11-19T09:34:00.000-08:00

Hey loves!!! Ive been M.I.A and I truly apologize. Ive been going through so much lately that I'm finally stable, well kind of. lol. Also, I've been gone because of laziness and not really knowing how to word some of the things Ive been wanting to post to you guys. Ive been reading a lot of your blogs but haven't been contributing to my own. I used to love to post and loved when you all would comment. I need to get back in the spirit. Hope everyone is well,, I hope I still have at least one reader left :^/ I guess we will see... in the meantime check out my new tattoo...

peace.love.happiness

Happy New Age Day!!

2010-09-12T16:04:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Yes It's my birthday my loves and I am now 23 years beautiful and I'm so blessed to be reaching another year. Since my 22md birthday so many changes have occured within my life,, so many things I learned about friendships and the `real world` and most importantly myself. I am growing into a beautiful woman who is not perfect and can accept my flaws in only trying to perfect them the best I can. I am learning from my mistakes and moving forward. One thing I have learned that I am proud of myself is my faith level,, my faith haven't been this strong in all of my life for some reason I have learned to start putting the past in the past and accepting the things I can't change. Im learning to trust God's plan even when I have no understanding of it. There are current challenges that I am facing and its been very hard to work through them or to understand them,, but I am trying my hardest to decipher the lesson and continue on in my life. I am also learning to accept myself and to get gain further love for me and to remove the insecurities I am struggling with.I have so much to do with my life and I am excited for my purpose to reveal itself and for me to savor in all its rewards.

My Blog Brand New!!

2010-08-26T16:01:00.000-07:00

I updated my blog as you can see and Im really excited about it. It looks so much better to me more sleek i guess. I'm still trying to fix it up but I had to change it. Major shout out to Elle at edk.dolce [http://edkdolce.blogspot.com/] she hooked up my banner for me and I thank her so much for volunteering her services. Isn't it cute?? Of course it is,, it has me on it!!

P.S. I'm going to be blogging more soon once I get my mind into writing again I have learned so much this past summer,, as I wrote in my last blog,, it seems every summer I go through a life changing moment.

Love you guys,, keep reading!!

Life Is A Happy Game??

2010-08-23T13:38:00.000-07:00

Hello all!! Sorry I haven't been blogging as much as I would to so much has been going on in my life. I feel so overwhelmed and somewhat defeated. Have you ever had some many changes in your life that you just couldn't keep up with it?? Or life seems to be going fine until a travesty of an event happens. Every year I have a super life changing event happen to me and I'm getting real tired of this. Some years I have two or even three,, but majority of the time I experience at least one. I just want to live and be happy,, I'm getting real tired of learning life lessons the hard way even when I'm not trying to.

I desperately need a break a vacation of sorts. I want to get away from all of my past and my current situation. I understand life is full of tests and trials but what scares me is already knowing all that i been through and realizing that at 22,, this is only the beginning. I have so much more lessons to learn and harsh experiences to go through I don't know how long I'm going to last mentally before breaking down.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger,, this is true and I know that through all of my crazy experiences I have learned from them and they made me a stronger,, wiser person but they also have left impressionable scars on my soul. I get constant flashbacks of these experiences and even though I have to move on from them,, they still make me feel horrible I had to go through that just to learn from it. I'm definitely the person that you say don't touch that its hot and eventually I touch it anyway just to see or sometimes I'm the person who knows its hot and stay away from it for majority of the time,, but while I'm trying to avoid it so diligently,, I manage to trip and fall or someone pushes me on it and get burned anyway. My life in my eyes can be a constant train wreck its never smooth sailing and I'm struggling so hard to not slip into depression.

My biggest struggle right now is getting over the experiences and moving on. i have been feeling really down on myself lately saying all the shoulda, coulda,woulda's, that I'm losing my mind. Can some of you tell me how do you guys get over things that have happened to you in your life that pushed you to the limit? How do you all just say "Fuck it" to things that make life unbearable at times? I need your advice and prayers,, because like many,, I'm going through it and I'm feeling miserable. Share some of your pick me ups that help you get over and get by.

SMH Moment: Big Booty "Model" Edition

2010-07-18T22:23:00.000-07:00

This is clearly an episode of "When Plastic Surgery Goes Wrong!!" Is it that much pressure to be a thick big booty vixen these days where you turn your ass into a giant beehive attack?? I'm sorry but this isn't even a touch of attractive,, if I was a man this infected looking ass wouldn't get my dick close to hard. What is even more sadder about this is that there are men that are like damn "she bad as fuck,, my dick might break inside of all that but I would still fuck." This ass looks like if you slap it too hard it would fall off. The poor chile can't even walk correctly. With those non thick thighs,, You can tell she was a skinny minnie who thought Dr.90210 could help her look like a Barbie but instead made her look like a science experiment. PSA Ladies: Please love your bodies, don't let the pressure of society have u looking crazy just for the attention and affection of some man. If you do choose to get plastic surgery its your body do you,, but please make it look like you were born with the body part,, say it with me... corrective surgery!! Don't go overboard on the the shit to where you look like two umpa lumpas made a slip in slide down your back and got caught in your anus!! Not a good look!! Fathers hug your daughters!!

Falcon Lounge || Hollywood

2010-07-13T22:07:00.000-07:00

Me & the best friend at The Falcon Lounge in Hollywood to celebrate on e of my closest friends graduation from my Alma Marta SDSU. It was my first time there and I like it really laid back and sexy nice place to chill or go on the weekends to party, plus it was some cuties up in there that looked like they had real jobs!! Heyyyy now!! These were taken a while ago forgot to post them but don't we look too hott to trot?? Yes? Oh Why Thank you thank you thank you, your far too kind!!

We Gettin Money Over Here!!

2010-07-06T19:49:00.000-07:00

Guess what ya'll,, I got a jizob a jizob a jizob a jizob!! Yessssssssssssssss bitches!! I'm gettin young money over here lmao I'm sooo happy and grateful and excited all in one you have no clue how much broke I was. And the coolest thing about it,, it is resume worthy a for its my first media job since I graduated last year, since then I just been interning. But thank God that my interning paved the way for me to get this job I have now because I was actually referred for this position and my boss is the someone who actually requested me to work for her because of the wonderful work ethic I showed at my internship. For legal purposes I'm not going to say the company,, just incase they want to Google me lolz,, but just know that I work in the Marketing and Media department as a Media Marking Associate!! So,, in relation to having a job I will prolly be slacking on blogging again but I'm going to try not to. I have some more bloggin ideas on topics I would like to give my 50 cent to. Hope all is well with you guys!!!

Changes To Come

2010-06-10T14:18:00.000-07:00

My blog definitely needs a makeover,, Im tired of looking at it like this I want to polish it up a lil. I have been wanting to do this for a while but I have been too lazy. It takes a lot of patience to do this taking the template I have right now was all made from scratch. I want it to be revamped and more modern. If anyone would like to make me a cute banner leave a comment or email me at qu33nkam@gmail.com. Oh and I was thinking of changing my domain name, I don't want a blogspot anymore,, however Im unsure if I do that will you all still be able to find me easily?? Give me info on that. If you guys have some sugggestions of topics of anything you would like me to speak on let me know as well or if you have or want advice from me. Greatly appreciate you all for reading and the readers i have had from day one who still read and comment I heart you more than you know. Also, I will do my best to reach out to all of you and if you would like me to check out your blog let me know and if you are new to this blog please follow and comment.Thanks. Tootles

What is Slim Thug Talking About??

2010-06-10T11:27:00.000-07:00

So I waited a few days to really make sure I could give a non-bias or should I say a non-black bitch comment about his proclaimed judgment on the black woman and why we are all doomed to hell. He might as well should have said we were Satan's children and we need to be redeemed and forgiven by Jesus. Sheesh!! Is that really how black men feel about us? When did black women not become shit?? One thing I don't like is people that make ridiculous judgments and interpretations of what a whole race is based on a few people. Isn't that called being prejudice?? Do I have to call Slim Thugga a racist lol? His comment if you didn't get to read it, put down not only black women but white women. For him to say Black women need to lower our standards because successful Black men don't exist shows more about black men than black women any day. Why are successful black men going extinct and why is that okay? I think the better implication is that they are the ones that need to get it together. I feel that the definition of success is very blurred in the black community anyway. For Slim Thug to think he is successful by being a dope boy is just pathetic, cuz he damn sure not making money as a rapper. We need to stop thinking that getting money is the only ounce of success and independence, being successful comes from the way you spend that money and how you get it and its not only a lifestyle but a state of mind. Just because someone isn't able to buy out the bar doesn't mean they aren't successful,, y'all need to stop letting entertainment equal y'all success and go get an education and get a more realistic career,,and stop giving excuses to why you can't do shit else, but rap,, sell drugs,, and play sports. Success comes with ambition and working hard in a positive way and if we do not have enough black men in our community that has that then they are the ones that need to pull it together.Instead of black women lowering our standards maybe y'all need to raise yours. The fact that there are more black women in college than black men shows that,, the fact that they populate the majority of the jail systems shows that. I'm not going to go too deep into this situation because I can go on and on,, but I will say that I do not believe all black men believe in what Slim Thug is saying and if y'all do that's just fucking sad and you have no respect for women in general. Black women do hold y'all down for the fact that we still all fuck with y'all like that. I'm proud to say that there is no other race of woman that has held the black man down stronger than the black woman; we are there for y'all through thick thin and all that,, we have helped y'all become the men you are today. Any real woman of any race demands success and the ability to provide for the family and be a protector from any man she seeks to be with,, if women have to search miles high and low to find a black man that equals that is not a great representation of the black man at all. Also, any white woman or woman other than black that allows a man to refer to them the way Slim Thug does is pathetic as well. Remember these perfect 'submissive' women were once the same women y'all got lynched for even looking at or the first women today to go running saying she was raped. I do think there are some rotten apples that spoils it for the rest,, but those are personal problems to why your woman won't do for you or is irresponsible,, that is not a racial problem. If yall go around flossing shit and showing your worth is only made by what you have.. all you will attract is that gold diggin' girl than trust me that's what you deserve to have. I really don't like when people date for superficial reasons,, it says a lot about you more than the race your putting down or the race you are promoting; if you meet someone and date them it should be because they compliment you in the most positive ways not because of a damn stereotype.

Thanking You Now!!

2010-06-07T17:34:00.000-07:00

Okkk,, So I am one of those people out there who took advantage of the leak of Drake's Thank Me Later,, [you probably have it as well] and with that being said I was trying to hold out on hearing until I ripped open the plastic packaging,, however,, because of all the hype and wonderful reviews I couldn't help myself to obtain it. Once I found out that my best friend it downloaded,, I had to hear its greatness. And yes I AM IMPRESSED!! I loveeeeeeee this album I play it everyday all day. There isn't one song I skip nor dislike. He definitely gave me all I needed and more and I'm glad he stayed with his style and story telling that us true Drizzy fans fell in love with. It is very reminiscent of So Far Gone and that was definitely an upgraded flavor compared to Room For Improvement and Comeback Season,, which I still love as well. Thank Me Later to me is a sequel to So Far Gone. I'm still going to buy Thank Me Later as intended but I'm so Happy I didn't wait till later,, I'm also glad Drake isn't upset about the leak.

Alicia Augello- Cook Keys Beats

2010-05-29T11:28:00.000-07:00

It's really been hard for me to want to not like Alicia Keys,, I'm saying she is beautiful and talented and for a cool minute seemed really down to earth,, but because of Swizz Beats she is being too basic bitch for me. I never spoke on this adulterated situation before because when I found out about it the first time, it was almost old news and I didn't have all the details until some time after. I didn't want to believe that America's Sweetheart was a home-wrecking tramp after declaring how strongly she is for women empowerment,, but there is no way shape or form you can sing about being a Superwoman being someones sideline ho for two years while the wife was pregnant with his baby taking that you knew he was married with children and after his wife politely asked you to leave her man alone so they can work on their marriage. After all of Alicia's tea had been spilled onto the counter and the floor,, I assumed she would do the righteous thing by leaving Swizz alone and revamp her life and get back on the horse because I truly am aware people make mistakes people aren't perfect and love and lust make you do crazy things,, however with her now being in the position she is in,, engaged and impregnated to a lying cheating married man she has accepted the fact that this love affair of a mistake is something she would like to prolong with for the rest of her life.

Now,, I have NEVER since I heard about this ordeal have or will be accepting or happy for either Alicia Keys or Swizz Beats for the obvious reasons that Im so indeed shocked everyone is so accepting of. I see people on the blogs congratulating their union like its President Obama and Michelle rekindling their vows. UH UH People,, this is not by far cute,, this situation is a fucking train wreck and a poor example of love and relationships. No matter what Alicia wants to say,, she is a role model and needs to understand that when she became a singer and most importantly a philanthropist. You can not tell me about Karma coming back around and you are sitting here playing in traffic with someone else's man. Everyone wants to turn the other cheek to this situation because they feel Alicia is so beautiful and successful and that Swizz made the better choice,, just by this happening the way it did I do not think we really knew about our beloved A. Keys the way we thought. This shit is wrong there is no justification for it,, IM SORRY!! Any woman that deals with a married man is foul as fuck and any man out there thinking Alicia is bomb.com you can see right there how insecure this woman really is. Any woman sleeping or emotionally dealing with a married man *I say married because I hold HIGH expectations for marriage way differently than I do for single people but Ill get into my definition of marriage in another post* has low self esteem because she is desperate and craving a for attention to fill an absent whole in her life. Also,, with her doing this Swizz should be turned off she would even go through with it. Attention men,, if a woman allows you to cheat on your wife with her how can you ever think she will be 100% loyal and respectful to you when she has no morals or standards for herself. And women any man that allows himself to cheat on his wife and leave her for you,, how can you trust the fact he wont do the same to you.

In closing,, I can give two donkey shits about Swizz Beats,, my expectations and liking for him was never set high. However, I was a fan of Alicia Keys *even though for a while all her songs sounded like No One for the longest and I couldn't get down although I do like Unthinkable,, probably because it was arranged by Drake but it is a nice song* I looked at Alicia for being so attractive and talented as form of real natural beauty,, almost every man I dated loathed her as their dream girl and if she came knocking down their door in a thong alone I will be,, now Im seeing her current actions granting that as a possibility. Im really disappointed in her and Swizz Beats for carrying on like this. No matter what Swizz and Mashonda were going through there is no hurtful feeling like you man giving his love away to someone else,, I feel for her and hope she is recovering well. Im not even certain their divorce is final. But to each his own,, I hope Alicia and Swizz know that there is no positivity can come once a relationship is built on lies and deceit and they need to go home and watch a Tyler Perry play and bring their shattering life back to formation.

iWant

2010-05-17T15:10:00.000-07:00

_but can't have =^(

Vegas Baby!!

2010-05-13T21:02:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago I went to Las Vegas with my friends for the Mayweather and Suga Shane fight and we got to stay in the MGM. There were indeed crazy unexpected moments that I wish never happened but there also was fun vibrant moments that I enjoyed. No matter what the trip really magnified some specific things regarding friendships and the phrase 'shit happens'. But,, it surely let us know that we party hard,, we have fun,, and we enjoy each other company even when we get on each other nerves. We by far do not live boring lives, but for now here are some flicks (and the craziest of them all are not even here)....

She got her nipple caught in the zipper,, OMG that was so hilarious

She kept hopping in and out of the car,, i did a couple of times too

I don't even remember taking this pik,, kinda why its so unflattering geez lolz

Our Road Warrior he came with the rental car

We got a flat!! Vegas didn't want us to leave!!

Good Parts: We were all drunk most of the time

We laughed and shared crazy jokes

We all looked cute

Partied

Ate really well

Walked the strip

Gambled a lil

Bad: Because I don't want to get sued,, I'm going to leave these events in Vegas and amongst the parties involved

No matter what I would still take these crazy girls on any trip with me,, maybe not all at once tho lolz

Find Your Love

2010-05-13T12:56:00.000-07:00

Drake - New Music - More Music Videos

So I finally got a chance to peep out Drake's new video and song,, "Find Your Love",, and let me the one to say *standing ovation* that this video is by far the best he has done so far. I loved everything about it,, this video brought me back to why i loved videos in the first place. They are supposed to be creative visual translations of the song and I love videos that tell stories and he did just that!! Im so proud of him!! He gave me all that I wanted and needed with this video. Now the song is growing on me,, something about the beat is throwing me off,, is it me or does Kanye West never really does right by Drake. First,, the Best I Ever had video and now this beat,, come on Kanye I think you can do better. But,, its not a bad song. For the most part,, it is definitely a come up for Drake and his video skills he reminded us that he can act and he did look really handsome. I am a proud hater of Maliah Michel's lower half,, I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I looked like that yall couldn't tell me shit!!

#tittytuesday

2010-05-11T16:04:00.000-07:00

Beauty Epitomized

2010-05-10T10:05:00.000-07:00

R.I.P Lena Horne

She was classic beauty at every age and a wonderful performer and role model to women of color and she will be greatly missed

The Hott Chick: Miley Cyrus Edition

2010-05-08T10:57:00.000-07:00

This lil bitch done got grown!! And I like it actually! I eas a lil skeptical at first,, Im like Miley need to go sit her ass down somewhere before she get pregnant. She got a boyfriend who is like four years older than her and she showing bare backs and cleavage,, we have lost Americas Sweetheart! Where is Hannah Montana?? But I guess just like every child star they have to grow up and I don't think this video is as bad as they are making it out to be,, she isn't naked or rolling around in dirt and water dripping down her body or humping the ground. I think this video is giving off just enough sexy,, it may still be a lil risky because she is still a minor. But,, i like Miley Cyrus i think she is cute and I would do the shit outta her boyfriend lmao

Single

2010-05-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

This song is my shit!! How many of you have been single for the night!? I know I have! Everytime a guy Im talking to or even with gets on my nerves,, fucks up or tries to play me,, it forces me to say fuck you and move on to the next,, one of the reason I always have a backup...May not be right but hey,, its life!

*Side note*= Jesus can I please get a booty like that white girl in the video!!? I promise Ill be good!

Oprah Ol' Hypocrite,,Opportune Ass Winfrey

2010-05-07T14:18:00.000-07:00

As much as I love this woman for all her strides and obstacles she has overcome and how she is a role model to young African Americans on believing in yourself and following your dreams and being a money mogul bad bitch.... The bitch can get on my damn nerves!! Oprah is a fucking opportunist and only does shit that got money signs framed around it. Don't be fooled thinking this woman is doing shit and making statements for the kindness of her heart,, things don't get to ger unless money is attached and if it smells like gouda cheese then she throws away all of what she says and beomes a damn hypocryte.

Now for all of you schocked at what Im saying take a look at this damn photograph. She is pictured with rappers,, no matter how much credit is stored on their black cards,, they are still rappers and Oprah expresses her hate for Hip Hop,, but you over here dancing with Pharrell and Diddy like these niggas don't call bitches hoes and niggas niggas,, and I know by the looks of how much fun we are having in this picture,, Celine "My Heart Will Go On" Dion is not being played from the from the DJ booth. I hate how she try to say she don't like the N-Word but surely has actors and comedians on her show that use it regularly in their work,, but it took Jay-Z to marry Beyonce for you to get a real rapper on your show witha real interview. Don't even let me bring up you putting him on the show and not even letting Ludacris in the building to sit whith the cast of Crash,, which number 1 is not a Hip Hop film so in doing so,, all the questions you needed to ask Luda is about a movie not huis lyrics. That was fucked up Oprah!! But all because Ludacris doesn't hold Diddy money he couldn't be recognized when he was 1 of the only 4 black people in the whole damn film.

See Ms. Wrinfrey don't try to be no house nigga on me and dance around shit for these white folks,, cause I know what you're up to. See you only do things that make you "look the part" you do things that will only make you look like you so down for the black community,, but only the black community that will give you money. For example,, its a million young kids in America that needed a school right in the heart of Chicago,, but Oprah had to go to Africa for it to make headlines. Now I appreciate her for the all girls school in Africa,, but when I learned you had to be a super duper African girl to go,, I was like Oh Hell No!! She does things for people however there is always a `but` to her madness. She will be the type to be like `ill help you,, but what will this do for me.`

I do love you Oprah in certain circumstances,, but just like with every love relationship there is still some hate I can still call your ass out if I feel you ding some shady shit,, that goes for everyone I adore friend, fam, or celeb.

Who is this Drizzy?? Bring Cool, Calm Drake Back!!

2010-05-05T20:23:00.000-07:00

There is no question that I'm a Drake fan,, most of you that read my blog from the beginning know that by now. But,, ever since he has been apart of young money my tolerance for his new style of rap has decreased. I have been a lil disapointed in his latest endeavors,, such as his videos,, I expected him to be more creative than that and the fact that he uses those `Young Money Metaphors`... you know the ones that go like 'I be peddling,, Biscycle!!' Ummmm WTF is that? Thats not rhyming thats not what you used to do or what we fell in love with. Its not fair for your fans for you to take on the likes of style from a label that would ever give Nicki Minaj a chance. I was never proud of him being inducted into the Young Money family because I felt he stuck out like a sore thumb,, but I am glad that he is getting the notoraity he deserves. But the fact that his cool,, calm colected style that expresses things a young mixed guy from Toronto would explain. I never understood who approved him to soowoop for the bloods like Lil Wayne. Thats not cool boo. I support him always and I do still get excited when I hear new things from him or about him so I will be purchasing Thank Me Later,, Im just hoping it still goes hard as Comeback Season and So Far Gone,, the Drake I fell in love with!!

Thank Me Later drops June 15

Beyonce || `Why Don't You Love Me?`

2010-05-05T18:57:00.000-07:00

Why is Beyonce' such a bad Bish!?? I love you Honey Bee,, if nobodyelse does!!

Zac Posen For Target

2010-04-27T00:40:00.000-07:00

Target to me always had cute pieces here and there,, but it was like you always had to search. Ever since top designers came on board like Issac Mizrahi and Jean Paul Gaultier have taken the reigns in Target fashions the women's department has definitely been revamped. The new Zac Posen line is now available at Target as of April 25, and Im really going to stock up!! I love Zac Posen,, now when they have Chanel Im really going to go broke!!

Two piece ruffled dress- $79

Blue Chambray Dress- $39

Pink Sailor Dress- $39

MulticolorTiger Tank- $16

Tie-Die Print Low V One Piece Swimsuit- $39

Black Ruched Skirt- $34

Floral Print Brocade Tie Dress- $74

The Generation of the Baby Boomers!!

2010-04-26T23:00:00.000-07:00

||Disclaimer= this is by far no shade to men or women that have children,, i have alot of close friends that have had children or thought about having children but resorted in abortion. By all means do you,, but this is for the people who are reckless in having children,, not making wise decisions and having them for all the wrong reasons. Men who hate their baby mamas because they don't even know them or because they were a jumpoff and now your stuck! This bud's for you...

Why is it so hard to find a man that does not have any kids who is over the age of 18?? I say 18 because I meet men who are 25 with old ass kids. WTH is wrong with people puttin a condom on it? Don't yall know kids at a young age is not the business? Now Im fully aware of the saying `shit happens` and I know a lot of young parents didn't plan their children,, but I also know a lot of young people who take precautions,, whether birth control or condoms or no sex at all. When I see a lot of men having babies [I say men because I'm not on a hunt for a woman,,but their just as responsible],, it alerts me there is a lot of unprotected sex going around,,which means there is also a high risk chance of STD's because a baby isn't the only thing you can catch,, that's just what God chose to give u. Im thinking how did our generation get smacked with so many young parents. It almost floors me at how many men I have met in my lifetime that have either had kids or got somebody pregnant. Now Im not perfect,, I have had unprotected sex and God has spared me of never giving me a baby or STD's so Im aware of things just coming unexpectedly,, now those are individual problems,, but on a general inference sex isn't brand new and neither is having babies,, so how come everybody seems to have them now? Im damn sho that 50 or even 30 years ago kids our age were not having babies at alarming rates as people today,, especially the black community.

There is a part of me that appreciates a strong man out there doing what he has to do and taking care of his kids,, but I never knew that I would be asking every man I meet under the age of 30 or 25 even how many kids they have and how many they have on the way and if they do have kids,, how many baby mamas they have and receiving answers other than none,, accompanied with the normal get- to- know you questions such as what do you do for a living. It seems almost as if men are having their biological clocks ticking at 15 and it becomes a requirement as a coming of age tactic men go through to have children before or while they are in their 20's; or should I really say before they become the men they need to be.

Its become the norm to say, I have a baby mama and I absolutely hate that phrase. I hate hearing it, I honestly would be more happy to hear my ex-wife because to be honest with you,, I look at if I'm good enough to have your baby,, Im good enough to be your wife and if we don't see each other in that way we don't need to be having children. Shit call me old fashioned but that's what I believe. I just can't ever be proud of just being someone's baby mama and it makes me sad when I see women who are ok with that title. Are you serious?? It's time we start as a generation evaluating the importance of sex and how we use it and be more safe. Yes babies are blessings,, but their not joyful when you can't take care of them the proper way and you are not ready. People are staring to sport their kids like rims on a truck,, these are human beings not ornaments!! Having random babies by random women is not something to be proud of because you are not setting a sound example for them.
So,, Im wondering is it even possible to find a man without a baby in 2010?? Please let me know the odds because I still have the endangered dream of having children when Im married.

The Backup Plan

2010-04-26T22:27:00.000-07:00

I know in the past I have had my posts about my fucked up relationships [womp!] and then for some reason,, Im happy again with a new dude and then all of a sudden Im off niggas yada yadda yaddda!! Yea I know Im a lost cause,, but unfortunately my heart is always in a tug-of-war because I can never make up my damn mind!! Its time I be real with you and also myself in realizing that I am `The Backup Plan Girl`,,

[Backup Plan Girl = a woman who always has a guy, who is a plan B for that guy in case this nigga fucks up or vice versa. She is never 100% single even when she is single and cries about how alone she is. Her eyes and options are always open,, thus always having a `Backup Plan` for a relationship she is in]

And in realizing this,, I am setting myself up for failure.I have always been this type of girl and at first,, [and for the fact I date in Los Angeles] seems like a great idea because the young men here are very mickey and are totally clueless of what they want,, why should I wait for them? =^/ This form of thinking has resulted in me being just as trifling as them at times because I have cheated,, rather emotionally or physically,, i have not always been a good girl because I always had that one guy waiting in the wings. Surprisingly enough this has sparked guys to hunt after me harder looking at me as a challenge,, saying that they can take me away from so-and-so. At the same time it has harmed me,, men have told me they can't get serious with me because I'm a heart breaker [go fucking figure].

I always thought that if I put my all into every relationship I had the fact I had a backup guy,, wouldn't be neccessary because this guy would do right by me. HA!! I realized this wasn't working because these guys would have a backup plan for my ass because either they were just that dog ass nigga or because they felt the same way I did,,she gona hurt me anyway. The reason I have always been this way is because in the past I have never had the guy I should have had,, the guy to treat me right,, so I looked at the guy on the side as a crutch or a bandaide for when this other guy broke my heart. It's been a losing process because I then have to get a backup for my backup because he later breaks my heart.

Moral of the story is if you have a backup 9 times out of 10 your going to have to use it and your just defeating yourself. Instead of finding that whole person you look for halves,, resulting in trying to making a whole person by putting two different [or in other cases more] people in your life to make the ultimate person you want. If you're a `Backup Guy or Girl` its time to take a break instead of having meaningless relationships start trying to make whole ones with one person instead of searching for a replacement. Think about it,, jobs search for a replacement after they fire you,, if they had a backup plan for every employee they might as well hire yall both!

[Follow me on Twitter= @KrazyLikeWow]

SMH Moment: Cheetah Girl Gone Wild Edition

2010-04-08T13:59:00.000-07:00

Watch This Fuckery Please...

Okay now Wat The Eff was that shit?? Is she serious?? WWDT (what would Disney think)? I dont think this is the way a Cheetah Girl is supposed to behave, (idk wat a cheetah girl is supposed to be tho? hmmm) Anywho, this video is ridiculous, this song is an epic fail, wat the hell is she wearing? Im just appauled. These lyrics are some ghetto whorony hoe qoutes at its best: "I was faced down ass up/clothes off broke off""I don't know his name/but he can get it again if he wana""He musta pulled a track out/when he blew my back out" She musta been drunk to fuck that ugly som-bitch wtf was that predator with Michael Jackson bleach on his face? And why did I see his ass?? I dont like the message she is promoting even for a grown bitch = Drunk sex with a stranger with out a condom. First off thats dangerous and second why are u doing a walk of shame he couldn't get you a cab...thats a no no lmao. Like @amberalert123 said on twitter "all that was missing was her goin to a drug store to get some plan b pills". WTF Kiely?? From 3 Lil Women to 3 Lil Whores,, they all done lost they damn minds =sex scenes in movies, naked photos on the internet, & unprotected drunken sex. Oh and Im sorry, drunk sex is never spectacular, trust me lolz.

Update!!

2010-04-08T12:41:00.000-07:00

So readers I have been drastically neglecting my blog and Im so sorry. Its really cuz I haven't really had a writing tendency mixed with laziness and lack of bloggin resources (hate bloggin on my phone)...
But, Im backwell at least for now.
So let me recap what has been new with me:

I lost my mind!! A little over a week ago i had the blessing to go to the best concert of my life JAY-Z BLUEPRINT 3 TOUR...OMG that was the shiiiiiittttttt to the maximum I was so excited. Jay delievers like I expected him to but I had the feeling times 10 the way I felt when I first saw Fade to Black. He did almost his whole collection, surprised me with Young Jeezy and tore it down. Also, dont let me forget Trey Songz was there to open the show. I wanted him to sing "Ur Behind" so bad but he didnt. I was also very drunk through out the show i was onnnnnn & these 2 guys me and my best friend was sittin next to were too funny they kept dancing with me. I lost my voice that night and my feet were hurting and I was wearing flat boots. I was soooo happy, I was however expecting Beyonce but I guess I have to see her on her own tour.

I lost my job!! So Im broke as a joke my money is crazy funny I nickname it Chris Rock!! Im desperately on the hunt for a new job. I had a huge interview with The Art Institute of California-Hollywood and unfortunately I didn't get that position. I would have really jump started my career, but Im guessing God has soemthing better for me....

I lost weight!! Well almost... Ive been doing a great job to really get intuned with myself and relationship with food and not really diet but have a lifestyle change. I work out more or try to and I want to change my life and make myself feel way better not just look better. Im definitely a work in progress...

I lost a chance at love!! Womp Womp!! (get more in depth in another post) It actually happened officially today so if you have been reading my tweets you can see I have been hurt. Im just emotionally drained when it comes to relationships and men IDK wat to do. Im sad and frustrated and some what bitter. Im not giving up on men because I will forever love them and I know they will forever be apart of my life but Im very guarded now and it saddens me I have to be that way to the next guy, but it is wat it is....

Im not going to promise that Im going to post as much as a used to, But, I can say I will try. I do love you guys who have been staying faithful I appreciate it. Also, you may find glitches on my blog I think it has been hacked cuz I keep gettin a grip of spam, but Ima work that out. Love you guys stay peaceful and happy!!

Amber Alert!!

2010-03-10T08:39:00.000-08:00

Have you seen this girl??,,
She has been last seen on Twitter.com/KraZyLiKeWoW
She has been neglecting her blog majorly
Her life has been hectic because she is now working
&& is still without internet service in the home
However,, There is no excuse to why she is not posting
If you find her on Twitter it is recommended you
A) Follow her &&
B) Tell her bitch ass to blog!!
She has become lazy && very M.I.A to Organic Poison
We must not let her get lost any longer
Thank You!! Peace & Blessings!!

|| One Year Down ||

2010-02-12T19:16:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Organic Poison!!

Today is wattheeff.blogspot.com's birthday & Im so proud of myself for keeping it up. I remember the day I wrote my first post...I had been sitting up waiting at the computer all day and night for Drake's -So Far Gone mixtape to drop. The frustration in me and reading other blogs all day from fans of Drake all day inspired me to do a blog myself. I always loved to write and didn't know why it took me so long to get a blog started. But things happen for a reason and I've been proud of my post,,, they've gotten better,, more personal and more structure. I also got readers which I never thought I would get this many *shout out to all my followers* I hope to get many more,, a lot of you guys inspire me because its so many great blogs out there. Keep reading and give me your feed back,, let me know what you like and don't like I take all criticism...doesn't gaurantee change but its something to think about and consider. Love you guys & keep reading,, & tell your friends about ||Organic Poison||

Dizzy || Interview

2010-02-08T20:59:00.000-08:00

E.Dot.Dizzy is definitely certified dope in my ears *wink*,, for the simple fact he delivers quality verses and songs line after line,, hook after hook. If you haven't heard him please do me a favor by downloading his new mixtape,, This Is Dizzy,,and also his previous work. I had the time to chat with Dizz and really found out more about him not only as an artist but as a man...Find out here for yourself....

KraZyLiKeWoW: Hey

ThaFamousNobody: finally caught yo ass

KraZyLiKeWoW: lolz I kno

KraZyLiKeWoW: How u been tho

ThaFamousNobody: i been okay

ThaFamousNobody: just working and stuff

ThaFamousNobody: how about you

KraZyLiKeWoW: Thats good

KraZyLiKeWoW: Ive been good hangin in there

KraZyLiKeWoW: Ok

KraZyLiKeWoW: Well first thank u for askin me to do this

KraZyLiKeWoW: Even tho it took me forever to come around

KraZyLiKeWoW: But i do love ur mixtape

ThaFamousNobody: its all good. i know folks are busy. or say they busy. your only the second person to hit me back on the interview shit. so. im making a mental note of this.

KraZyLiKeWoW: Ok cool i got love for u ima fan so its nothing

KraZyLiKeWoW: What is the difference between this is dizzy & ur other mix tapes?

ThaFamousNobody: i made all the beats for this one. thats it. same shit talking. but now the songs have structure.

KraZyLiKeWoW: Ok yea i like it do u feel u have grown as an artist?

ThaFamousNobody: them songs were made before Dizzyana.

ThaFamousNobody: but yes. I do feel as if i have grown as a artist. A LOT.

ThaFamousNobody: my lyrics are more raw. My beats are better.

ThaFamousNobody: my direction is more defined because I now have a better understanding as to who I am as a person so it reflects through my music.

KraZyLiKeWoW: and define for me who that person is,, if u were to put dizzy in the dictionary wat would it say?

ThaFamousNobody: it wouldn't say anything. its more so a personal thing. I am more in tuned with who ERIC is. If that makes sense.

ThaFamousNobody: I really dont care how i come off as a artist. i just want my messages to get across.

KraZyLiKeWoW: Yea i feel u

ThaFamousNobody: i think todays society look too deep into artists. we are human too.

KraZyLiKeWoW: I know that majority of the songs are for the club and for the ladies,, as so is ur blog which talks about relationships,, why do u cater more towards women than anything else?

ThaFamousNobody: that is a great question. you would think i was this rico suave ass dude.

ThaFamousNobody: im not.

ThaFamousNobody: Growing up i was shy. so i spent a lot of time observing women.

ThaFamousNobody: their body and mind.

ThaFamousNobody: i didnt start really having sex till college. i would have sex once or twice a year from 01 to 2006.

ThaFamousNobody: so i got use to writing to them in poem form or song form

ThaFamousNobody: too scared to speak up.

ThaFamousNobody on my blog though, i speak to women because men dont like to read.

ThaFamousNobody: women have more identity issues then men because of love and all that

ThaFamousNobody: so i try to help them out by writing what i write

KraZyLiKeWoW: Yea i appreciate it idk how i found ur blog but when i did i was like this man is writing my whole life story i learned so much from ur blog about the way men think and act and its real and alot of women appreciate that about u

ThaFamousNobody: I have come to realize it aint how most men think. its just my bluntness. I try to keep it real and honest.

KraZyLiKeWoW: Yea u are real blunt lolz women be gettin pissed off by ur shit but it is wat it is

ThaFamousNobody: yeah. but you cant get mad at life. it is what it is. accept it and learn from it.

KraZyLiKeWoW: Are most of ur posts ur experiences? & wat attracts u the most to a woman that u would want to really further ur interest in her beyond the bed

ThaFamousNobody: most of my posts are from experiences. I think a lot. and when i was in middle and high school. i was friends with all the pretty girls but they looked at me as a brother so they confided in me with all their issues and shit. i just got use to helping women with their problems. they liked my honesty. so you take that and me dealing with women.. you have my blog.

ThaFamousNobody: a females willingness to grow makes me attracted to her beyond the bed. if today she dont cook or clean for her man but is willing to try it at least once. im good.

ThaFamousNobody: we all are use to being alone. but a person acting like they still alone when we together is a no no

KraZyLiKeWoW: Yea thats a different answer i like that `willingness to grow` and what places in ur life as a man and an artist do u still have more growing to do?

ThaFamousNobody: um. as a artist. idk. i thought i was done growing lol. then i grew some more. as a man.. idk. tough question. i got a ways to go though. no man is perfect but im trying to be close to it.

KraZyLiKeWoW: Lolz thats good,,Yea i feel there is always room for improvement the more experiences and lessons u learn will make u better than u were before

KraZyLiKeWoW: Ok i know u were signed before and things didnt work out are u singed now or in the process?

KraZyLiKeWoW: And how long till the next dizzy mixtape or better yet an album

KraZyLiKeWoW: =)

ThaFamousNobody: no process. fuck a label lol. i just want to make good music for the people. i dont care to deal with all the politics.

ThaFamousNobody: i actually have 3 mixtapes done.

ThaFamousNobody: im just waiting on my peoples to say we can release em. im trying to do things on a bigger scale so im waiting for the right time

KraZyLiKeWoW: Ok good i cant wait!!

ThaFamousNobody: hell me either.

ThaFamousNobody: more videos

ThaFamousNobody: you gone like the music i drop

ThaFamousNobody: its crazy dope

KraZyLiKeWoW: U have to and i really mean this u have the best skills ive seen for a famous nobody lolz every body be pushing their music to me and ur shit is like the best among a small few i like u have good writing and good beats and a good flow which is great and i know ur gona be real big one day

ThaFamousNobody: thanks sweetie.

ThaFamousNobody: i try not to shove it down folks throat though

ThaFamousNobody: i hate when rappers these days appear to be spammers

KraZyLikeWoW: Yea ur welcome

KraZyLiKeWoW: Yes thats wat myspace turned into and now its flooding facebook and twitter lolz and ur not like that at all

ThaFamousNobody: myspace and facebook are attacked by them dumb ass applications

ThaFamousNobody: twitter has better spam control

KraZyLiKeWoW: Yea thats true thats why i dont get on them they be doin too much,,jus give me my messages and friend requests lolz

ThaFamousNobody: i dont even check them shits. fuck that. now that myspace has died i wonder how will record execs find their talent

KraZyLiKeWoW: Idk somebody gona make something new and ppl gona hop on that too

ThaFamousNobody: naw. i think that internet music site shit is dead for ever

ThaFamousNobody: everyone is tired of rap salesmen

ThaFamousNobody: i know i am

KraZyLiKeWoW: Yes me too

KraZyLiKeWoW: Well thank u so much for the interview

ThaFamousNobody: it wasnt a interview lol. just a nice conversation

KraZyLiKeWoW: is their anything u want ppl to know about u ,,that they better kno,, but may not know

ThaFamousNobody: ur welcome sweetie. it was my pleasure

ThaFamousNobody: nope. i like being mysterious.

KraZyLiKeWoW: Well i wanted it to feel like ur just talking to me lolz

""Dizzy Dizzy Dizzy Uggghhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn"

Follow Dizzy @ Twitter.com/ThaFamousNobody and edotdizzy.com
Follow Me @ Twitter.com/KraZyLiKeWoW

Who Dat!!

2010-02-08T18:52:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to The Saints or better yet New Orleans!! Im so happy they won,, I had faith in them the whole stretch. Im not a football fan Im more of a basketball kinda of girl,, however,, this was the team to go for because they deserved it. They had phenomenal season and they proved a long time before the Super Bowl they were worthy. Im really proud of how Drew Brees showed he wasn't washed up. Great job Saints!! And this definitely is the starter to the rebuilding the state of New Orleans!

This Is Dizzy!!

2010-01-26T07:43:00.000-08:00

[Download Here]

E.Dot.Dizzy is back once again with another mixtape entitled `This Is Dizzy` if you guys havent already downloaded,, where have u been?? Lolz. This time around Dizzy is giving you his all with a body of work spanning 36 songs of great music with hooks and original beats all produced by him. His style for this double disk is grown & sexy,,very club banger,,very for the ladies because he loves women and you can tell all through this piece of work. I listen to this usually before I go out to the club,, its definitely a must have. So ladies & gents get into `This Is Dizzy` & really feel wat this young dude is giving ya'll make sure to keep a look out for him!!

Some of My Favs [Just To Name a Few]:
_Sex Appeal
_All My Haters
_Be Your King
_I Want You
_She Bad
_Got Her Sweet

Follow him on Twitter ---> Twitter.com/ThaFamousNobody
Follow his blogspot---> edotdizzy.blogspot.com

[E.Dot.Dizzy interview coming soon!!]

Note To Self...

2010-01-23T19:59:00.000-08:00

Kam The Beautiful!!

2010-01-23T19:47:00.000-08:00

taken while I was bored,,
don't i look just marvelous darling??

Cabana || Hollywood

2010-01-19T17:05:00.000-08:00

Me & My Girls before Cabana in Hollywood

We was looking good right!!?

Our first time at Cabana,, dnt know how we feel bout it lolz

Wasnt that impressed,, considering everyone always loves this place

First we were in line crazy long then we have ever had to wait for any club

Plus it was low key racist,, the black in one line whites & mex in another..ummmm?

The place is not heel friendly the ground is cobble stone and has a million dips

then the inside part wooded flooring is uneven & slippery when wet

The music was cool,, except for the random performances

[one of the friends from the show Daddy's Girls performed,, random

& all the girls including Vanessa & Angela were there walked right by them

didn't know it was them but they hair & outfits was cute]

The drinks are ridiculously expensive & super small [$15 for cranberry & vodka,,ho please]

Me & the girls found a nice spot to sit after dancing that let us see everyone

All jokes from there on,, LA ppl are crazy,,

there were some lames,, bosses,, & hoes like any other club

but this time the dudes were not fulfilling my needs lolz

You shoulda saw some of the outfits geez

Saw too many girls bust they ass

And men was gawking at my titties like a mutha!!

We found this awesome gay guy shout out to Ray!! Eeeeeoooowww!!

For the most part I had fun,, we decided we gotta go back & give it a 2nd chance

I found a connect tho so next time we wont have to wait or pay *wink

Beyonce || Allure

2010-01-19T16:35:00.000-08:00

Beyonce on the cover of February Allure Magazine

She said she will be taking at least a 6th month break

No studio.No Performances.No Shoots

She just wants to play w/ her nephew & watch Broadway

I can dig it,,she needs a time out

she is over worked...

I hope she takes time to make babies

Cuz if Jay aint gona give her none

I will lmao!!

The Balmain

2010-01-19T16:24:00.000-08:00

This jacket is $74,000...tell me why i gotta Range Rover on my back lolz...

but its crazy dope,, am I lying??

Burning Up

2010-01-19T16:12:00.000-08:00

Have you smelt this??

Smells like heaven

I want this

& I think a special someone

is gona get it for me for

VDay

So he can lick it

off later lolz

;-)

Happy New Age Day!!

2010-01-08T17:51:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my main hoe on the stroll,, My Kay.Jay.Nay!! I love this girl cuz she is so extreme and crazy but that makes her one of the best people I know. I love I can activate my inner skeez around her and i have the most fun w/ her lmao. She is smart, funny, loyal, spontaneous, beautiful, and a true friend. she finally turned 21 today but you would think she is 25 or older the way she lives her life,, cuz she has been through so much but stays on her grown woman. Plus she is a sex expert!! I hate when she calls me out when I say dumb shit but never brings me down. I wish her all the success,, good luck honey going through your senior,, we gotta stay smart beautiful bitches. Love ya hunnie!!

Happy Twenty.Ten!!

2010-01-08T17:33:00.000-08:00

Here are some photos from that crazy night!! When I tell you we was loaded,, I mean we were all LOAAAAADDDEEEDDDD!!! This is definitely a night to go in the history books and Im glad I got to ring in the New Year with the girls I love the most!! Hope all of you had as much fun as I did!!

*Sigh great times,, till next year folks!!
Oh and excuse my hair it was blazin in that ho!! lmao

New Year Realization

2010-01-08T12:20:00.000-08:00

I know everyone makes a New Years Resolution and I never did because I knew I would break it. One part because of motivation and the other part I really didn't know how to plan for it. But now I have a desire to set my goals not just for the New Year,, but the rest of my life.

My New Life Resolution,, as I rather call it is to reshape my body to be healthier and sexier [cuz i already think Im sexy ;-) ] and to get a grip on making me all around happy,, basically my goal is to be all about me!! For basically all my life I realized I never really put me first in the ways I should have,, I always find myself caring about what others think and that isnt right. I need to just be focused on whats best for me by me. From family,, to friends,, to ppl i dont even know I worry about my reputation and letting them down. But who cares,, at the end of the day whatever I do ultimately effects me and no one else so my plans for my life is what matters most down to what I do and the way I feel about me.

So,, Im going to ultimately make me a better person all around for ME,, and if anyone that enjoys that can but if not oh well. Im going to apply this in everything I do
Asking myself:

1. What do I really want to do?
2. Will this make me feel better or worse?
3. How will this affect me in the long run?

Ive made alot of dumb decisions in my life that werent near what I wanted to do,, and in the end it only hurt me,, so now starting in 2010 Im going to embrace the love I have for myself to only be out for me. This doesnt mean I dont care about anyone,, ultimately if I feel you are worthy to be in my world,, I will care and love you but at the end of the day,, I will only focus on the betterment of myself. Im not 100% happy in my situation of life right now,, I dont have a job,, i gained a grip of weight in the past year,, im confused as of what I really want to do in my life,, im had to move back in my grandmother's house,, & i am not fulfilled in my relationship the way I want to be,,even tho it isnt bad it wasnt wat I saw for myself in reference to falling in love. In all,, I know I have the power to change all this and Im starting today!! Wish me the best,, and I wish you all the same!!

Happy New Age Day!!

2010-01-04T20:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my best friend of 10 years,, Jackalantern!! Ive known her since 8th grade & she has been my ride or die since 9th!! We lasted through our bootleg as high school,, we shared many memories & inside jokes i.e. `That skwirl was hittin it; Who' daddy is that?; Never expect him to be listenin to shorty on the floor; You gettin bold on the brinks` lmfao!! Me & her almost even died together [4.4.04] lmao! Man I Love this hoe she is, what I call her My Right Hand, & i hope we be friends forever!... Wait this is my sister for life & I wish I was partying up w/ u in ATL...Cant wait for the Miami & Puerton Rico trip!

Feliz Nueve Años!!

2010-01-01T14:57:00.000-08:00

Bye Bye 2009 Hello 2010!! Man this year has been a conglomerate of highs and lows but for the most part im glad im alive to see another year. I have survived two decades and that means alot I cant wait to see many more. Hopefully God will have great things in store for me w/ success,,love,, & life! 2005-2009 was very trying times for me because it tested my life as a woman and growing pains have left hurtful scars.
Looking back ive done alot of things I regret and wish I never had to go through,, but I guess it made me stronger. Every New Years im like how did i make it this far because in certain cases I should have been dead or even wanted to die. But what I realized is no matter how hard life is its never hard enough because it could be worse. What you're going through may never amount to someone elses heartache so you have to be grateful even when it feels your life is ending.
In life,, I realized my biggest downfall was men and alot of times even myself. Ive been through so much which the opposite sex its depressing and exhausting i almost feel like giving up on ever finding love and being happy w/ someone. I know it sounds obsurd to think that way because Im so young,, but if only you knew what I been through. Its so much to handle and im finding myself questioning once again another relationship. IDK what to do...
My hopes for 2010 is to be happy, focus on bettering myself, getting closer to my dreams and falling in love. I pray that I get to be everything I dream and want to be and have for myself. I no longer want to get my feelings hurt by someone going into this new year I want to start a new life when it comes to relationships. I also need a job which is highly important. But for the most part I no longer want to live w/ regrets and what ifs the way I have. Wish me success in that!
& I wish you all many blessings and i hope you guys fulfill everything you want to. Thank you for reading and please continue...Love you guys and all your feedback it really helps me.

Oh and New Years Eve photos to come,, the piks on the right side of the page were from last year new years eve,, and trust these new ones are even more ratchett!! Lmao

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T10:15:00.000-08:00

Jesus is the Reason For The Season!!

Merry Christmas to All & to All a Goodnight!!

Happy Sephora Holidays

2009-12-21T18:29:00.000-08:00

First Off,, want to apologize for being M.I.A still have to sporadically find a cpu to work on,, would anyone would like to buy me a new MacBook for Christmas??

Well,, Christmas is approximately 4 days away and Im not feeling festive at all because I am moneyless and can't buy me or any friends and family gifts like I would have in previous years. However if you are feeling the giving spirit for yourself or others here are some great gifts for you last minute shoppers from my favorite store Sephora...A New Years gift is still as special as a Christmas Gift!!

ghd Rare ($245)

A set featuring a ghd IV styler, a thermal protector (for normal-to-fine hair), and a miracle mist—all stored in a limited-edition carry case and leopard print styler pouch.

Best of Bliss ($45)

Five piece set of Bliss' most popular skin care items

Bare Minerals Extreme Glitters ($32)

A kit of three mega shimmer eye shadows including prime time eyelid primer and extreme glitter brush.

Stella by Stella McCartney Gift Set ($70)

One of my favorite scents that has a mixture of roses and amber that completes with a soft and fresh fragrance that embodies femininity

Sephora Glamorous 360 Deluxe Palette ($36)

This set worth $130 has a complete cllection for lips,eyes and face.

Too Faced Glamorour Revolution ($39.50)

With extreme colors and flawless application Too Faced gives fun, glamorous colors for the beauty queen in you!

Kat Von D Lightning Sheer Lip Gloss Set ($25)

Four premier limited-edition shades of sheer, sparkling lip glosses from tatoo artist Kat Von D.

Dylan's Candy Bar Re-Treat- Ice Cream Dream Gift Set- Chocolate Cupcake ($35)

From Ralph Lauren's daughter Dylan, this skin softening body butter is inspired by her candy shop in Manhattan.

Clanique Great Skin Every Day Collection ($25)

Clanique's most popular skin care items, my favorite is the moisture surge extended thirst relief your face gets this extreme refreshing feeling.

These Boots Were Made For Stuntin`

2009-11-23T09:55:00.000-08:00

Theses are some boots I thought were hott of this season for the fly young fashionista of the real world!!

Te Casan by Gianluca Soldi Goya Ankle Boot

Aldo Grotton Women Round Toe Pump Boot

Aldo Hutgen

Burberry Solid Rain Boots

Velvet Angels Snafu Double Lace-Up Suede Bootie

Rock & Republic Sabra Platform Ankle Boot

Aldo Desano

Bah Humbug

2009-11-21T23:16:00.000-08:00

Im sick >=O
How suckie is that i never get sick but sumhow from sumwhere i did outta no where!
The worst is that becuz i dont get sick often
When i do its allllll bad,, it be taking me forever to get over. I have a life i cant be sick [well scratch that having a life cuz im broke as hell so my life is limited]
But i hate being sick i really do...
But in better news.....
I got a new car [well new to me]
Its a 2000 Mercedes i havent seen it yet my dad picked it out im scared i wont like it but hey im grateful as long as im rolling i dont care i got into a terrible accident the week before my birthday [Sept. 12th....and yea i kno i didnt get to blog about my own birthday,,my dumb ass...but thanks to those that shouted me out on Twitter]
Anywho the accident killed my LeBron James [name of my car it was a Cavalier] and i miss him that was my ride or die never broke down on me or gave me problems and that day i washed him up and got slammed into by sum Mexican man w/ no insurance or valid drivers license....that crushed alll my world
I put alot of love into my car and it was so sad to see it go,, but God always brings better things into ur life so i know i will have a good time in my `Cedes,, hopefully it dont give me problems cuz Lord knows i aint got money to fix it...My Gma dont want me to have it just for that reason but maybe its for the best idk....
I really wish i cud blog the way i wana im posting this from my phone and i hate that cuz i cant edit it the way i wana i really wish my Laptop wasnt broken,, its running soooo slow and ignant and idk why,,
i need a new one preferably a MAC im done w/ PC's
But any way loves ttyl... & pray i get well

Dont forget to follow me on Twitter---> @KaMbAmPOw
[Also,, if ur new to my blog and thinking,, ``should I follow her`` .....yes u may lolz]

My Bangs Bitch!!

2009-11-16T17:10:00.000-08:00

So i cut my own bangs for the very first time in my life lolz,, never have i ever had bangs,, so i took a major risk.IDK how i wana feel about them though,, i dont love them yet but everyone says they are cute. Im always changing my hair so it takes me a while to get used to a new hair style,,especially one i never had before. Please give me your feedback,, does it look cute or should i never touch scissors again lolz??

Public Service Annoucement

2009-11-16T16:12:00.000-08:00

I will be at the Jay-Z Concert on March 26, 2010 7:30pm at the Staples Center

....That is all

The Hott Chick: Lady Gaga Edition

2009-11-16T15:49:00.000-08:00

"I want your Ugly//

I want your disease"

So everyone knows how raw Lady Gaga is by now,, I never did a post on her but now i think its due for this Bad Romance video. I love it!! i love her creativity,, all her videos and songs do it for me. Play Just Dance or Poker Face at any moment and watch me get it in. Her songs are just so much fun,, i call it drunk white girl music lolz. And Im Loving the part in this song where she be ``Ra/ Ra/ Uh Uh Uh/Romaaa/Roma Mah Mah /Ga Ga/ Ooo La La/ Want Your Bad Romance`` thats my shit!! And did you peep her back tat and those killer shoes?? Just Bomb!!

......

2009-11-13T14:11:00.000-08:00

Ima blog in a minute....

Till then here is a pik of me and the babes,,
i think its cute

SMH Moment: Old Ass Niggas Edition

2009-10-28T08:22:00.000-07:00

Okaaaayyy some people need to know when to let it go. How old are yall? Like seriously you can't knock shit off...everyone in this video looks like they on drugs. Ummm Davonte,, where are your teeth?? All of H-town went from fine to fat and how come all yall songs deal with knocking some kinda footwear? Your grown as hell talk about some shit a 40 year old can relate to,, your sex is prolly 5 mins your too old for stamina endorsed sex. LMAO at this whole video and song combo.

Being an intern at a radio station for the "grown & sexy",, i guess,, i hear this damn song over and over and would love to stab the whole group next time I hear this "wanabe deep" ass song. I die laughing every time I hear this mess. Now I have no kids so maybe I can't relate but um you are leaving out some shit All For One,, this bitch aint that crazy what did you do to make her not want you to be around your child. But anywho, WTH is up with these broke down dance steps looking like praise dance. LMAO at Malcom Jamal Warner. Why are they singing to this unintuitive audience like they are lecturing,, Im confused. Old ass groups kill me, especially ones that try to make a comeback when they were so so artist in the first place.

Pass The Torch

2009-10-16T13:36:00.000-07:00

My Blog Got Awarded!! Woop Woop lolz

»ok so the rules

1. Post award on your blog

2. Link or tell a bit about the person who gave you the award…

3. Each one of you who receive this award must list down 5 facts/hobbies about yourself

4. Pass this award to 5 or more bloggers

[1] I was awarded by by Ms. Angelicaa Phyliciaa

||--- http://jamdontshakelikethis.blogspot.com/ ---||

*This girl is so much like me its scary,, i dig her blog becuz her life experience are a reflection of mine. We feel the same on love and relationships and I give her advice based on my experiences,,not claiming them right or wrong just what I know. Check her blog its updated daily and if ur a sucker of love like me you will love it.

- my five randoms .

1. Im afraid of squirrels

2. i read between the lines of everything [ppl say i think to much]

3. me & my bestfrind's lil brothers were born on the same day the same year

4. i randomly break out into song about everything around me[especially when im drunk]

5. im self conscious about my real hair when its not done [i dont even wana go out lolz]

- im passing this onnn toooo . . .

1. Ms. Minnie [ http://urbangoddess201.blogspot.com/ ]

2. Sam [ http://streetwearcouture.blogspot.com/ ]

4. Domo's World [ http://steezydee.blogspot.com/ ]

5 Your Royal Flyness [ http://avalleyofhearts.blogspot.com/ ]

I have many more too that i like so sorry if i didn't post you on this but ill make sure to shout yall out later!!!

Farfetched Prefered

2009-10-14T15:03:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I seen the critically acclaimed Good Hair by Chris Rock,, I learned some things as well as laughed at things I knew. It was interested and funny,, but also made you think. One thing that stook out to me, besides the fact that Black people don't own the Black hair business themselves ___*blank stare*___, was the desire Black men have to really run their fingers in a womans hair as much as he wants to lick on and rub on some b ig titties and ass. I always felt hair was more important to a man than he led on, but what I couldn't wrap my mind around was the fact some Black men date women outside their race just to satisfy this need.Really?? That's why you wanna date a white woman over a black woman cause here hair hangs down her back and you can run your hands through it and pull it like a leash [side eye]?? as I was walking out the theater I noticed a Black man and a white woman with long hair coming in and jokingly told my friend "Are you with her for her hair??" Cause I know its not for those lil titties and flat ass.

Im not against interracial dating,, in that case I wouldn't be here. By all means be with who you want to be with,,but Im not for people getting with people for stereotypical reasons, even for people within their own race. For example, "I only date white women cause black women too loud or they dont wear their real hair." or "I only date Black women who are ugly cause they are low maintanace." Yes, I heard that bullshit. Yea I feel you should have preferences there is nothing wrong with that,, but those preferences should be morally and value based and not superficial, such as not dating a woman or man who is crazy or has a million baby mamas and daddies, not cause they hair don't reach pass they ass cheeks,, which has to be real and lays gently past the Buffy the Body shaped ass and super small waist,, and can suck and fuck like a porn star but a be a virgin,, and smart as Oprah. And its not just men women make crazy preferences as well,,a hem, he has to be balling and rolling on 22"s or higher and can pay all my bill, sex me and eat it good,, and be a father to the kids that aint his etc. you get the picture.

I just couldn't believe that the men in the movie said thats the reason they date white women because they can play in their hair. To me thats a dumb reason if thats the only reason. Furthermore, You shouldn't be with anyone based on a superficial reason,, a foundation that can be lost at any given moment. That lil comment made in the movie opened my eyes to something interesting and bigger because thats when dating interracially goes wrong. I know this doesn't apply to everyone,, but if it does loneliness may be your final destination. Black male readers let me know whats up is this the case or was the movie a lil far fetched with that analogy.

I Think Ima Wear Black For A Whole Year Straight

2009-10-10T02:15:00.000-07:00

Well untill I get tired of it.....So I dyed my hair Black!! Yea I know I just dyed it fully blonde not too long ago,, but ima darky again. I havent had dark hair ina really long time so it took some getting used to... But dont I look cute!? Yea I know...lolz

Poetry From A Non-Poet

2009-10-05T22:06:00.000-07:00

LMAO,, I was going through old emails from my old sidekick and found this "poem" i wrote about 3 or 4 years ago after one of my heartbreaks w/ my first love...then i was so serious about this poem now i laugh at the amateurism,,its so roses are red violets are blue... its still cute i think enjoy lolz

[exatly how it was written,, notice the ck's my daddy was a blood,,im off that now]

[Ur not the you you used 2 be....

maybe this was the you who you always meant 2 be...

the one who in the end was destined to hurt me...

but instead tried 2 blind me with hopes and dreams...

or was it my fault for actually believin that u

was who I thought was meant 4 me...

I shud hav known this day wud ckum from the beginnin...

u were #1 but now u downgraded urself 2 a postision that doesn't even exist...

congratulations for being another disapointment on my list...

don't think for 1 seconcd u defeated me...

don't forget that I'm still the fuckin qu33n...

So u ckan go ahead on to the next but don't get 2 ahead of urself...

ur heart is forever cursed to think bout ur ex...

which is me, ckuz u hate to admit I was ur best...

and now I want to say thanks for showin that u ckant be tru...

so I ckan let go ckuz ur space has been reserved

for sumone realer than u]

|||||||BONUS||||||

Around the same time my best friend Ko Ko aka Kodak aka @LadyEyeCandy on Twitter wrote this lil poem its more funny than anything but at that time i was feelin it,, see these poems were AIM away message fillers for me when away messages spoke your life and feelings as strongly as a blog lolz

Most niggas dont mean shit to me,
But they steady, heavy, tryin to get wit me...
The more I give, the more they take,
Cant be real, they stay FAKE!
They wonder why, i say goodbye,
I do not cry, they all can fry,
In hell, for all the fuck i care....
Trust, i'll never see them there...
I'm too damn cool, for lil boy drama,
They still hold on to their mamas,
Titties and ass is all they think about,
So i curse these niggas out,
Then they all forget about...
The fact that they, made me act this way...
I'm not a bitch, but i'll be one today....
I'm too grown,nigga so i dont pla
You're WACK son! like Brooklyn would say,
The BEST thing that could happen to u...
Is ME, but dont go feelin blue,
Cuz i chose not to fuck with you,
My LADY SWAGGA IS SO OUTRAGIOUS!
My rhymes SICK, my shits contagious,
I'm FREE, your minds still in cages!
Beautiful...
Confident...

Honest..
Heaven Sent...
I'm what you WISH your girl could be...
Think twice next time you FUCK WIT ME!!

Follow me on Twitter @KAmbAmPOw

The Chosen One

2009-10-02T11:53:00.000-07:00

Today one of my favorite basketball players and future baby daddy/hubby,,Lebron James,, is coming out with a star studded documentary film featured in a movie thearter near you. The film,,More Than a Game,, is about his life and the way he led his Akron,Ohio high school to the national championship & making the best high school team in history. It also tells the tale of his NBA accomplishments as being one of the select few to reach the pros from high school.
I love Lebron for his great personality,, his ways of giving back to the youth,, his powerful leadership ability on the court,, & off course his sexy swag. If only i could for one night [call me a groupie if you want lolz]. I am so much of a fan my beloved car was a Chevy Cavalier[R.I.P] appropriately named after King James himself.

Scared to Take My Heart Off Hold

2009-10-01T22:04:00.000-07:00

Isn't it crazy how right when you get excited about the person you are with and you start telling people about them and you claim the relationship,, is right when it starts to turn dramatic. Its like the affirmation to the universe feels your happiness and wants to suck it all away. I understand now why Jay-Z & Beyonce are so hush hush to where you feel ``damn,,don't they love each other why don they shout it out`` but now I see why that would be the dumbest thing in the world to do. Its like once you find that one person that makes you feel good and everyone knows it,,its like they hold a stop watch waiting for your love to end. Im so used to being happy about my new boo,, i tell everyone and then it turns out wrong and then I look like the damn fool when ppl ask ``Hey, What happend to ol' boy??`` Ive experienced this before so much that now im paranoid to really tell people about my partner,, ive been apprehensive about even writing this blog post. Yes, I know it seems Im excited about being single and it has been a life changing experience in which it still is,, but I was not going to let it blind me on the way. I think I have found the one I want to be with, he has everything that I want emotionally,physically,, he treats me the way I want to be treated and cares so much about me...but we can't be together,, at least not the way I want to. For one he isn't close to me and two our connection seems too good to be true. Can I handle a long distance relationship,,like seriously?? Can I trust my emotions to not flip out about him being able to handle it?? Im not going to go into the severity of our situation,,just know on his end he is fine,,he shows no signs for now about hurting me. But like I have explained in previous posts i still haven't healed from my previous relationships to just breath easy and live. Ive known him for almost a year and he has been there for me with my last break up with my ex Donta. I appreciate him as my friend and now my lover. But,, Im too scared to really accept that. I feel once I claim this man,, once I accept him fully the way I want to the way my heart feels comfortable,, its gona turn down hill from there. It took me forever to even tell my friends and family about him,, just because Im afraid of the outcome of their opinions. They have seen me at my lowest hurt and Im not ready for the embarrassment. However, the pureness I feel with him is what gives me the desire to speak on him,, because he desrves that much. Im so torn with what I should do compared to what I want to do. Im also torn with really wanting to give my heart to a new person in allowing myself to be hurt. Putting effort in this situation,,im embracing everything I thought I would never experience,, both good and bad. On the good I finally feel a man really cares about me and wants to love me, when he speaks it doesnt feel like a lie. He doesn't claim to be perfect and I respect that. He makes me feel happy and alive and I enjoy him. On the flip side, he is far so, spending time with him is slim. Plus, me falling in love with him and him acutally falling in love with me,,for real. That may seem good,, but Im afraid ima mess it up somehow,, like self-sabotage my own destiny. I guess Ill take his advice and just take it one day at a time. Worrying is going to be the death of me,, im unsure of what Im capable of but he is a risk Im willing to take....hopefully it wont bite me in the ass later.

Ive Been Gone A While...

2009-09-28T13:29:00.000-07:00

A lil too long if u ask me, Im just computer deprived thats all. So it doesnt allow me to post the way I want to like I used to. But for the fact that I can't give quantity, I will at least give yall quality, i will prolly be giving a madd post all at once within the next few days, so bear with me followers. Its hard to give the people wat they need without the proper resources. Shout Out to my new followers, Heyyyyyy *parkers voice* Thanks for jumping on board, Im glad u found a reason to read my blog, hopefully ill give u even more so that u can stay. Hope all is well with all of you...

bee bee el [bbl]!!

P.S. Guys please pray that I get a job Ive been unemployed a lil too long for my liking,,I need that mula bayyybayyy

Single Is The New Relationship!!

2009-08-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

I am single and remarkably its a great feeling!! I never thought I would be so secure in being alone. A few post ago I elaborated on why I was single and how Im trying to cope with it. But now it feels great and I should have had this feeling a long time ago. I should have not been so worried about being with someone or trying to find the love of my life for the past 6 years!! Im only 21 and not 41 my love life isnt over it may just be beginning. Ive been through alot though to make me start feeling a little bitter, but in some case I do still have hope. But, the single feeling has turned from being bitter to being relieved, Im feel free like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and im able to just live. Yes there are still people trying to obtain my attention as always, i learned that men will and can always be obtainable, they aint going anywhere. So when I want them I can have them but right now I rather be alone. It feels so great to just wake up and not have to plan my day according in trying to accomodate some other persons plans with mine, or having to reply to a text, aim, or gtalk message if I don't want to, i dont check back with anyone, or feel bad if I dont want to come over. Wat The Eff for!! Im not anyones girlfriend and that is what finally what sank in!! I dont have to make anyone a priority who makes me an option. Being single is great because you make your own rules.

I was one of those girls who always did whatever it took to make sure "my man" was straight when all I was doing was waiting in line to hopefully get picked!! Some I did some I didnt but what it assured that Im putting myself out there in hopes of being someones everything to men who deserved nothing. Being with someone who really cares about you is a great feeling but I realized that being with someone you lowkey lose apart of you, your freedom to live. Ball and chain analogy is true even when you are fully in love. Im honestly not ready to give this new found freedom up. I embraced the best parts of being single and Im using it to my advantage till I feel I have found the right guy I want to give it up for. People dont be afraid of being single, its probably the best time of your life, you figure out what your really want and who you really are. Im preparing myself for my ultimate partner, Im cleansing my soul by spending quality time with me and being able to understand why those other relationships didn't work, If you are never alone you can never fully appreciate being with someone. So if you are alone, live it, learn it, love it.

Hard Knock Life

2009-08-11T17:07:00.001-07:00

Hova takes Oprah to `the Sty` where it all began. I guess Oprah is finally embracing the Hip Hop generation in which she orginally turned her back on it [unless your Mary J or Diddy] for having offensive lyrics against women and the use of the word nigga. But, since Jigga man is clearly the biggest Hip Hop star she must show him love and prolly because he gives back to Oprah's favorite spot in the world, Africa. I guess for the first time Oprah will properly get to know rappers before butchering them and who else to be a significant representative for Hip Hop but Hip Hop himself!!

Bitter!!

2009-07-28T16:06:00.000-07:00

Is it safe to say I have lost all trust in a man?? Ive been trying to hold out and not put every guy in a catergory as being an asswhole or full of shit but thats all I have ever experienced. I love the person I am but Im starting to believe its my fault I can't find a guy on the same page as me. I haven't had all dogs, Some were really good guys as far as what Im looking for in someone, but they just weren't going down the same road Im trying to go. My mother says that its because the guys I date are young and young dudes are only after one thing, but sheesh, is it really Every nigga out there?? I think also that LA dudes are on a totally different mind frame from the rest of the world for the fact they just think they are the shit, even the ugly ones, to the point its like there are no humble guys. They all force feed me the same bullshit at the end of the day just to try and fuck me and Im over it. Ive heard it all, seen them all, had them all, all the types of a guy i think u can have, I had, all but the one for me. Im only 21, so yea the guy for me prolly wont come till later but im just tired of meeting the bullshit ass dudes out here. I dont trust any man that gets at me to be real, so I mentally flush him out before he knows it. Its gotten tot the point to where I no longer cry over the man I cry over myself and the fact I can't get out this cycle of a situation. I changed up my standards over and over again to broaden my horizans into having a better quality person, but I still think there is a flaw somewhere because Ive gotten no where. Maybe Ill go back to dating older men, but they have too much baggage that I dont even want to deal with at my young age, been there done that.

I guess all I want is consistency, thats all I want from a man is for him to be the same real nigga he was from the jump and not change his ways. Do the same thing you been doing since u met me, cause if you do something for so long Ima expect that to be done, if you stop Ima be like Wat The Eff?? What happened to the guy I met? I hate that I have never met a man that gave me the consistency I wanted in a person or equaled my affection. I used to have high hopes for everyone I dated so that I wouldn't fault him for what the last man did, but now Im seeing myself expecting to get hurt and having no hope for anything anymore, andnit eats me alive. I hate feeling that way. No matter what I do, I still get hurt. I feel I have a wonderful personality, Im beautiful, sexy, loving,affectionate, funny, down to earth, the librarian and the stripper, lolz, but I havent found a man that fully appreciates those qualities in me.

I don't want to change myself to get a man, however I want to know what Im doing wrong to where he makes me feel I need to change. My rap sheet makes me feel its all my fault because Im not relationship successful, and I want to figure out why. Why is every man who gets at me, no matter what we do together or what he does or I do for him or what he tells me, at the end of the day his actions dont match and only shows he wants to fuck me. Im tired of being centerd as sex being his only desire for me being around. Im not a whore Im a woman you should want to love, and I see right through all your lies, your just tryin to bust a nut. I put up certain emotial walls to see who willl be strong enough to want to break throught them. Im not that complicated of an individual so the fact that no one wants to love me past my pain hurts, especially knowing that I can give so much love to a man, I dont want just anyone having it. Ive made alot of male mistakes in the past, being naive, but now Ive learned so much I just want to know why the progress is still going at the same speed. Before I pray for no man unless he is good. Give me no man Lord till the right man comes, cause Im tired of the bullshit, I think the next bad situation will harden my heart to where the desire to Love doesn't even exist for me anymore. And thats my biggest fear. I dont want to be a bitter ass female, but that woman is starting to grow everytime I hear my phone go off, cause I already know its a bullshit ass dude blowing my phone up.

SMH Momment: Fierce Lil Boy Edition

2009-07-22T15:53:00.000-07:00

Lawd this Lil boy was killing me I was dying the whole time cuzim just taken aback!! He looks all of 7 years old who taught him all this fierceness!! Lil boy is gettin his divo on, I cant even hate cuz sum of his moves I can't even do...I wonder if he made this routine himself & who is responsible for this video?? Im just mad he a lil off beat and the random person who walks by like did you know we are tapin a video!! My favorite part...0:17-0:23 & 3:00-3:10,,boy get em!!

First Love Diaries pt. Deux!

2009-07-22T15:20:00.001-07:00

Sooo after reading Shandra E. helpful advice and talkin to my firends, I realized its time to let homeboy go!! Its been along drawn out 4 year experience but its time 2 let my First Love go! I love him still but having him in my life is unhealthy because its impossible for me to be just his friend. I gave him an ultimatum and he couldn't give me a straight up answer sooooooo I had to make up 1 for him. Im leaving! I felt he kept me around because he felt it was convenient he knew I would be there beyond any damn body, I felt he did love me but not enough in the way I needed to be loved.

Like you said Shandra, I need to be more than #1 I need to be the only one & with him I will never be the only one. He cheated on me when we were together and then cheated on his girlfriend with me! How triflin is that! I knew the business before hand, but was too blind to see it. Once a cheat always a cheat right?? He would say all that bullshit about ``That was the old me , Im not that Keair anymore Im gona be a better man for you because I wana marry you, Im my Happiest when Im with you, I hate that I hurt you, I hate the niggas you date, you need to be with me. I promise one you come home from school its me and you again officially!!...blah fuckin blah... I heard that shit for 3 years & He broke all that shit within a week of me being home.

I feel soooo stupid for loving him, I feel I wasted valuable love that could have been given to someone else on him, but to this day I havent met anyone who makes me feel as good as he made me feel. When he was good he was real good, we hardly argued all we did was have sooo much fun together, we have the same sense of humor & his sex is the business, and he gives me all that affectionate mushy shit I love in front of everybody. I could have sworn he would be the guy to go on the mountain top and scream ``I LOVE KAM`` before anyone else...but look where we are now, homeboy wont even return my phone calls!! His son loves me since day one, he says the only girl he reallly lets around his son and I hate how I have to leave that lil boy's life as well. He wanted me to be the mother of his daughter and th elist goes on of all the shit, I was ``supposed to be`` now Im nothing when in all of it I have done nothing but love him more than anyone he will ever know. I know for a FACT he will never find anyone like me or better than me, but I know for a FACT I will find someone better than him, and me and I will love that man more than my love for him times ten! Life is too short for `maybe love` I need the real deal!!! Because God is in my love lolz[insider]......

First Love Diaries....

2009-07-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

I got a new song.....

``First Love Sex/ First Love Sex/ Its the most powerful of them all yall...``

Well to me it is, especially when you are still in love with that person. Me and my First Love haven't been together in three years but I still love him and surprisingly still want to be with him. Before yall say, `Bitch, just give that shit up` I want you to know why I feel this way. See we broke up when I was a sopmore in college and he couldn't handle me being away in school [Im in San Diego, He is in LA] He broke up with me because he couldn't handle a bitch ass 2hr distance and also because he felt that I would cheat on him with guys that lived out there, that was his theory, and that whenever I graduate we can be together again. And now that I have graduated and moved back home things arent going as planned, till now. For the past three years I have let this man lead me on to believe Im number 1 in his life, no matter who he dates or who I date, Im wifey, thats what he tells his friends and family. And to be honest I believed him, I soaked that shit up.

Whenever he called I came running no matter what it was, I was always there for him, I gave up so much of what I knew was right for this guy just because he was the first person that gave me the 'Love Feelin'. I would have done anything for him, if he said die for me i swear I woulda thinkin it into existance. I was there for him in times when he had no one and he paints verbally and sometimes really shows that Im his number one through it all he still does bitch nigga shit I dont like. But when he says `Im workin towards marrying you, Im changing for you` and when Im with him all the love i ever had comes rushing back, I get weak. He strings me along because he doesn't want me to leave, but there are certain things he does that makes me feel if you love someone you wouldn't do them like that, you wouldn't break their heart.

Recently, he did something that broke the camels back for me, I called him and a girl answered his phone and the bitch hung up on my ass, called him back cuz I was like Wat The Eff?? and he answered surprised it was me and told me he was with his girlfriend!! Mind you, the last time I talked to him he said he aint had no girlfriend!! OH HELL NO!! And then yesturday my bestfriend sees them at the movies together after he talked me down when this happend to tell me, he just said that because she was sitting right there and he chooses me over any bitch. I was fuming pissed, I felt beyond played and he has made me feel this way before and when I say Im leaving thats when he wana patch shit up. I know its my fault for letting him but when you see my rap sheet of all I have done for this man, I feel I can't let my hard work go to waste for the next bitch to enjoy. I helped shaped him into the man he is today when there were times he felt on killing himself he was so depressed with the way life was going.

I have the sofest spot for him because he was the first one to teach me what it was like to love hard. But it hurts me that he will have to be the one to teach me how to let go, especially when I don't want to. Ive been thinking about him and this trick and every other trick he been with since me and I feel like he is full of shit and I deserve better. But I don't click with anyone else like I do him, and no one fucks me as good or its eat as correct or I have fun with the most as this man. Ugghhh, this is so irritating. How do you let go of the one you loved the most and the one that loved me the most, or so I thought....

ILL BE BACK!!....[Arnold Voice]

2009-07-17T17:01:00.000-07:00

Today is Friday & Im too lazy to do Funny Fridays eh...so shoot me! Even tho I do love to post Funny Shit...But I will say this you will get a ``REAL`` post from me this weekend!! I promise you that...I jus havent been makin time my life is soo conjumbled [is that a word!!?] but there has been some things that have been irritating me so Im going to come back with some of your fav's like SMH Moments, Baby Daddy Status, The Hott Chick, & of course Love bullshit [ill get more into why Im so Love[k] right now] So hang tight...my bestie said if you don't start writin ppl will stop readin & i deffinitely dnt want that...I jus been havin major bloggers block that I need to get over, so curse me out I don't care >=op!! [wait yes I do!! Im sorry yall lolz]

*Shout Outz to JellieBeanzzz!! She always shows me Love on her blog!

Check it out, B a si Ca LL y*

Oh Lookie Ppl I got my hair did [Finally, & I dyed my hair myself] I should have shown u a B4 lolz Ive been wearin it curly [cuz it be gorilla penis hot outside] & it gets unmanagable at times...dont I look cute!

Please Don't Leave Me!!

2009-07-08T13:05:00.000-07:00

Sorry followers I greatly apologize I have not been updating like I should
and I hope yall don't hold it against me
it's just that I dont have internet connection in my home
now that I have moved back in with my grandmother
&& I dont like updating from my phone cuz it doesn't want to cooperate
So I will have to either go bring my laptop to the library or go to my friends house 2 update
But, please hang in there with me. I noticed I lost 1 of you & that breaks my heart
Because my I try not only to write things for myself but for you guys too...
Im also kinda in a brainfreeze because there isnt really anything worth posting
I do have something about my love life that I want to post, but it may be too personal
I may do it anyways, just to give yall somethin juicy to read
but I have to gather my thoughts first.
But know that I am greatful for all of you and I love the feed back you guys give me
Tellin me that you love the blog, I really appreciate keep reading and everyone that follows me
Im tryin to make sure I follow all of yall ok!! Love you much

Follow me on Twitter! Im always Tweetin & im kinda funny check out a sample ------->
Twitter.com/qu33nkam

Big Girl It Your World!

2009-06-29T13:50:00.000-07:00

Tonight on Oxygen the premiere of the new show "Dance Your Ass Off" which combines the shows Biggest Loser & So you think You Can Dance/Dancing With The Stars together. Im not sure if Im totally going to be committed to watching this show, but I do like how Oxygen tries to make shows to make big women feel good about themselves by leting them do what the skinny women do. However, Im not a fan of them putting these women in these women in these little outfits. Just cuz you are trying to get your dance sexy on does not mean wear shit u cant fit and showing your stomach like its flat. Thats not cute boo boo. Im not trying see ur fat fallin all over the place. For that this show looks a hot ass mess. But seems like it could be entertaining cuz big ppl know how to dance lolz.

Paying Homage!!

2009-06-27T00:15:00.000-07:00

R.I.P Michael Jackson

The Best to Ever Get On A Stage & Pick Up A Mic!!

Go Hard Or Go Home!!

2009-06-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

Im apart of the movement... are you??

If your not wit us your against us!!

Middle Finger Club Biiiiitch!!

Death Do Us Part!

2009-06-21T14:55:00.001-07:00

I really think Im cursed like noooo doubt! And I mean relationshiply [is that a word?] cursed!! It seems that everytime I get close to a guy someone close to him dies!!! Is it because of me, am I a grim reaper?? Do I kill people?? Recently I explored this and found out in my life time that I began fond, building relationships with six men all resulting in a death of a close family member or friend while they were talking to me. And more crazy is its been more recent within the last 2 years. What am I doing or is it that just what life is ppl die. Or am I just bad luck?? Hmm I wonder, but what makes me angry with this situation is not only having to aide the young man in his recent time of mourning, it comes too soon in our relationship, like a serious thing happening so suddenly it slows down our process of connection. For one we are unable to take part in things like we used to or were going to because he has this big burden to deal with on his shoulders which then causes his desire to need space. Im definitely not the type to chase anyone so I give space but assure him I here for him. But when he returns its never the same. He no longer wants anything serious. Wat The Eff do I do now?? I then dont know if its my fault to blame. Should I have over rided his wishes of giving space and should have been there more, there so much I can really do. Everyone mourns differently so I don't want to step on toes and Im a direct person so I don't live for that reverse psychology/read between the lines bullshit...if you tell me somethin Im going to go off wat u tell me and what your actions say and if they agree so be it. But i digress. I don't know what is up with the death situation. It feels Ive experienced alot of death just because the people around me has. Are those really signs to tell me im not good for this person? Basically, wat im sayin is I don't understand why I can't fully experience a "normal" relationship. Something bizarre always happens too soon in the relationship, shit im not really wanting or ready to handle, death among other things is an example of just that. Beware to whoever is the next in my life, he better have no family or friends or we not gona make..j/k!!

Mutha-Fuck-A Fathers Day!!

2009-06-21T13:35:00.000-07:00

Yea I said it!! This day to me can't fully be celebrated when me like many, have a half ass daddy. I big up my grandpa for bein the coolest man on the planet and thinkin the world of me more than any man has ever done, but I wish I could say the same for my dad. I have been around alot of women growin up both my grandmas are still alive, but its sucks for me to know that male role models are only idolized by me are seen on tv.

I have serious abandoment issues from both my mother and my father. My grandma raised me and because of that i had alot of problems acceptin who I was because I felt like no one wanted me. I just recently acceptedc my mother and our relationship is cool, I can now come and talk to her about anything, because unlike my Dad, she finally took responsibility for her leaving me behind and showed the most effort to be in my life and let me know how sorry she was. My father has no clue of what his choices in life have done to me growing up. He continues to choose the world over me and continues to let me down and leave me behind and that brings mountains of resentment in my heart over him.

Just when I thought we were making progress in our lives together, he embarrasses me and lets me down once again when I needed him the most. He missed the biggest and most important acomplishments of my life, both my high school and college graduation because of his selfish, dumb ass decisions. And as of right now we aren't even talking to each other, but what hurts the most is the fact homeboy hasn't even said sorry.

I decided to write him a letter to finally express to him my issues with him because he doesn't understand why I don't like him. He thinks Im just a spoiled lil brat! But, he doesn't understand why I feel the way I do and why if I had a choice I would send his ass back. But, I cant I have to deal sum way sum how that he is my daddy, but I havent decided on how bad I really need his buster ass in my life or if he even cares if he is there, because in the past everytime I needed him he wasn't there. Yea he tossed a few dollas my way, but never was there to teach me all the things a father is supposed to teach his daughter. I had to learn everything on trial and error, especially with men. I used to find myself falling for the same niggas that epitomize my dad, just so that I can have some form of love and affection from a man that my absentie father wasn't providing. Not realizing Im dealing with the same traits of the man I push myself away from. I was that little girl that never got an "I Love You" or "You know your beautiful" or "You don't need no man but me" speech from my daddy cuz he never said it to me. And I indirectly paid for it my whole life.

In a way I do want a relationship with my father but im tired of his disapointments. I guess I will never accept him, till he changes and until then I look at it as Ive made it this far with out him...ill make it for the rest of my life too...who knows...Honor thy mother and thy father huh? I guess I wont be living long...

Epiphany

2009-06-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

In respect of recent of events such as my graduation from San Diego State University!! [CHEEAAAA] I vowed to myself to revamp my life. Of course being me is what got me this far with use of trial and error, but I have grown accustomed to the usual blazey blah that is my life and I want no more of it. If you didnt know my weakness is men. They are and have always been my downfall beccause of my abandonment issues I grwe up with because of my parents. I realize that I made it in school but could have been better if my focus wasn't so caught up in the boys. Because of me rippin and running the streets along with other things allowed me to begin to lose sight in my intial self because I was so wrapped up in pleasing a man rather than pleasing myself.

I love to write and I love magazines, those have been my passion since I was youngster. I was always known to have all the magazines and know all about music and fashion as if I got paid to study it. But, once I got serious into partying and boys which led to heart break, which triggered depression, then caused my grades to slip, which led to setbacks in my college career, which then led to my drive and determination for what I want begin to decline. I began to lose sight of my passion and dreams and thats not me at all. I hate that I owe this all to the desires of male approval, which till this day IDK if I fully received it. I have always had male attention, I think too much at once, and it overwhelmed me and I didn't use it to my advantage. I have never been without boy and unfortunatley, never been ok with being alone....until now.

A recent encounter with a young man made me soooooooooo over niggas to the point I don't give a fuck anymore bout any one or anything. I don't give a fuck if I ever meet a new man when I go out, get a new number, give my number or anyof my contact information. Im so over all my current suitors and their drama that I don't care anymore if they stay or want to leave. In some respects I wish they all would leave me alone. I don't care bout their feelings at all to the point to where now I say whatever comes to mind to any man including my own daddy, where all my issues stem from when before I would watch what I said. I no longer will do what they want me to do if I have any earge of not wanting to do it whether im just lazy or don't agree with it. I will no longer give anything to a man whether it be time, myself, money, or even a stick of gum ever again. And for the first time im ok with this.

I feel comfortable with being alone and knowing that Im ok by myself and that my happiness is more important than anyones on this planet. From this moment on I will live on instinct and my desires. Im not a fighter, Im a lover but I will fight more so for my love than anyone elses. No man will stand in between me and my dreams, hopes, happiness and success any more. I didn't want to admit it before, but all my exes, nows, and nextes have taken over my ability to be myself because I cared too much about they ass. Their drama became my drama and life is too hard dealing with my own shit, to try and fit their baggage in my closet. And im not bitter, Im not even done, but Im just beginning to start my life over and caring about me comes first. Theres no room in my life ppl who don't wana make their own seat in it, which means you have to earn your right to be here, and if you can't, there is the door waiting for you. All i can say is, "its about damn time Kam!"

Funny Fridays!

2009-06-05T11:26:00.000-07:00

Funny Fridays today will be devoted to the chillins!! I have no kids and thank 2 God in all of Heaven I don't[at least not now]! Hearing these jokes bout kids makes me rethink bout wanting some! [My Childhood Bad Ass Story:: I was about 4 and I ask my mom sumthin bout God and she said she didnt know and and i told her she didn't know shit and I threw the Barbie car box at her head and she ran and grabbed and threw me across the room and as I was flyin I was like "Moooooommmmmmiiiieeee!!"

"Wat is tangy Daddy is it kinda like sour but it aint sour??"

"You black midget bitch get the juice, punk ass Daddy!!"

They Like Me!! They Really Like Me!

2009-06-04T14:32:00.000-07:00

This award goes to my fabulous followers!! I have surpassed 100 ppl that thought my blog was cool and that means alot. I started this blog for fun simply didn't know if I was going to get one reader, but Im glad that I have. The stuff I put on here is randomly produced but if you like it I love It! Yall are awesome and I hope I have have even more followers. Shout outs to Ms. T who was my 100th follower and Two L's for being my most recent follower and Kiwi for being my first follower!!

These People Rock My Socks!

Baby Daddy Status: Omari Hardwick Edition

2009-05-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

More Like Marriage Status cuz I wana wife that! lolz Do you see the beauty in this fine ass specimen of a thug right here GEEEEZZZ---UUSSS!! I recently seen Next Day Air and was suprised at how wet I got after watchin this man on screen. Damn he is fine. If yall wana know my type here it is. This is the man I wana marry, haha. Plus his acting skills are pretty good and he played his role well. He will definitely get me comin to see all his movies from now on IDC if he does jus a voice over for a cartoon, he is gettin my supposrt. Even though I never heard of his priors, Im bout to go watch them just so I can get some more eye candy. I can't wait till Next Day Air comes on DVD so I can see him in high def all the time.

For Every Action Theres A Reaction

2009-05-28T13:53:00.000-07:00

So me and my Lil Juelz Santana [lil bro] were bored outta our minds and decided to look at gross shit on the internet. So we mad reaction videos to the new 2 Guys 1 Horse and 1 Guy 1 Screwdriver videos and boy are they funny. Before you guys ever get a chance to see those videos I am warning you they are disturbing and will fuck up ur whole mood for the rest of the day, just fyi.

BTW Please ignore my wild sweated out hair! I dont always look like that lolz

1 Guy 1 Screwdriver

2 Guys 1 Horse

Funny Fridays!

2009-05-22T13:27:00.000-07:00

This has to be one of the funniest things because the baby looks super real and all the movements match!

Baby Daddy Status: Daniel Gibson Edition

2009-05-20T12:25:00.000-07:00

All I can say is Dayyyuummm Boo!. I always knew he was a cutie, but when I saw him in these piks I was like "Yup, he can get it!" He looks alot different outside his work clothes. He usually look like that lil nigga runnig around on court wit LeBron, but now I have taken notice. Keyshia for the first time Im sayin I wish I were you hunnie, good fuckin look! Im kinda surprised she would date a youngin, but hey everyone needs a young boo now and again, && why not a Baller! P.S. those boots she is rockin are fierce, Get em Keysh!

[sidenote::] Um I hope this is a first date, I wana know why he bought her those cheap ass Hallmark gifts. Can a bitch get at least a dozen of roses & a live puppy dog? lolz

He Can Write For Himself & Others!

2009-05-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

MTV Shows

Drake makes me smile! His humility is superb & I hope that doesn't change! Ill never stop loving him.

&& On the note of writing, I feel a real artist put time and effort into their craft especially if it makes them money. So you are not impressing me if you can make a song and say you didn't write it down or it took you a week to make your album. For example, Lil' Wayne needs to start pickin up pen and pads because as much as we think we love his shit, can we really say that nigga be talking bout anything? Lil' Wayne is a punch line rapper, but not one for telling stories, Im yet to hear him tell a story on a song. That is a lyricist to me, a rapper who can paint a picture with words as if your listenin to spoke word. I like Wayne for what he gives but that is about it, he isn't up their with societies greats such as Tupac, Biggie, Jay, Nas, Eminem etc. because they tell stories. They may give u a club joint here and there or throw you the basic hip hop remedy [Money, Hoes, Clothes, & Cars] but for the most part they bring you a place. I love Drake because him like alot of really great rappers these days [Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West, Wale, Charles Hamilton, Joe Budden, Kid Cudi, Common etc.] strive to bring you to that place by telling you dynamic stories. I feel a real true rapper is a storyteller and what bugs me is that real Hip Hop doesn't play on the radio and real Hip Hop isnt marketed correctly. We are all so caught up in beats and punch lines we lack substance. If being a true rapper meant having a good flow then anyone can be a great rapper, look at Bow Wow, his flow is nice but he by far isnt great. Or if being a great rapper meant being popular then Soulja Boy would hold the torch. I think what Drake was tryin to say is that just because you have a gimmick to you doesn't mean you are the best and if you don't produce the best work behind your gimmick its useless and your wasting your time. Not everyone can produce hot work without writing it down. And to this day I think the best person to have done that is Biggie, [Jay-Z is the only one who is close]. I guess what Im saying is as a fan of Hip Hop it should be more about quality than anything else, write what you know, write what makes sense not just always what makes cents.

Feel Like Kickin Myself In The Vag!!

2009-05-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

Oh Em Gee!! Procrastination is gona kill me. Its a disorder I am suffering from and I really need to be check out. Like serious, is there a such thing as Chronic Procrastination Syndrome?? Ima have to Google that. But im so pissed off at myself that I felt the need to write about it. Almost like screamin. This is a straight vent session so bear with me.

First) I am beyond due with finding a damn job. I have offers for internships, but Im jus chillin likethey are gona walk on my door step and carry me to the office. Im so used to always getting the jobs I apply for, so I guess in my mind Im like "Your gonna get it girl, don't trip!" Uhhra no boo boo, get it 2 gether hunnie u may not get it then ur gona be lookin hella stupid when u are stuck in the house all summer with nothing to damn do. I really want a PAID internship cuz Im try to stack cheese so I can move out my Grandmother's house if my Father is living there, I gotta go. Me & him don't see Eye to Eye on about anything & he has really some nerve in his pocket to ever step to me and try to tell me what to do. Like Nigga, Im doing way better now in my 21 years of living then your whole life and dreams combined. But he is a totally a different lost cause that I don't feel like getting into.

Second) The reason I have been soo lazy to find a job is cause of my unpolished ass resume. Its cool for what it is I need to do some editing, But im waaaaaayy past due to going to Career Services to let them look at it. Plus this is my last week of school & everyone I wana see is bout to go on vacation for the summer and are booked up with appointments and such.

Third) Letters of recommendation need to be typed and I have contacted some teachers and staff who said they will write one for me but they also said, "Hey,, just shoot me an email to remind me and Ill write them for you." Uggh there is no draft in my compose box being written for any of them. Plus I have to track down a couple of my teachers from the past who said they would years ago, to see if they still even rememeber who the fuck I am.

Fourth) I have finals this week, I have already take two, felt like i did good. But, that was last week. I had all weekend and yesterday to study for my last test which will be 2maro at 1pm, when really I should be taking it Thursday at 10:30 am, but because I have to go to gradution rehearsal, I have to take it early. WHOMP! But i guees my mind is stuck think I have to take it on Thursday, mind you this may be the hardest test I take of my carreer in school and may as well dictate if i get my Diploma or not. WTF! Am I doing so I just have today and till 1pm tomorrow to study for this damn test. Oh let me also explain, Im the QUEEN of craming Ive done it all my life and it has gotten me this far I guess. Since 6th grade I have done my homework at school the day it was due and never at home where it needs to be. I have waited to write every paper of my life the night before and studied for every test the night before. So I guess I get overwhelmed when I get alot of time on my hands. And I guess I work better under pressure but I hate having to. The one thing I hate most is when I really get it crckin in my work, and feel stupid when I say " Damn, look how much/ far I would have been if I started doin this shit days before!!"

Fifth) Im forgetting Im no longer going to be a student and all the Free.99 shit I got while I was a Student at San Diego State will no longer be available to me. Its included in our fees to go to Student Health Services any time we like for any damn thing. And it is the nices facility I have ever been in in my life. I have to have my annual check up and my ass missed my first appointment because I forgot to go and they were calling me back a grip of times to reschedule and I never called back, Till this morning to have them tell me "Sorry we are booked up till May 29th and your doctor leaves in June, oh and once May 27th hits it will be Summer Session and if you are not enrolled in summer courses you have to pay $15 a visit." WTF, I just had to wait forever to do shit didn't I.

Sixth) I have been screaming about getting my tickets to go see Drake on Friday and that almost slipped out my hands because I took for ever to give my homeboy the money. Hopefully, he can still get my tickets. If not ima shoot someone.

Seventh) I overdrafted my account from paying my rent with no money in the bank [Such a smarty pants Kam!!] My landlord takes forever to cash checks so Im like Im cool cuz last month he didn't cash the checks till like this month and shit. So im like Ima just write the check and when I get the money from my other account just tranfer payments. Mind you I got the money almost immediately as I submitted the check maybe a couple days after that my landlord wants to cash the check. Like now when I have no money you wana do shit on time and right after takin forever all year. So because I didn't transfer the money into the "rent" account from my "work" account [mind you they are with 2 different banks and that is why I waited, being to lazy to go to each bank] I now have to pay the bank back in fees, for 1) overdrafting 2) them payin for the rest of the money that I missed 3) For not paying them back within a certain amount of time so they add on $8 a day after for however long it takes you to pay them back. [FUCK YOU US BANK]

Eigth) Im graduating Sunday and it Tuesday and I still havent sent out one announcement to let people know "Hey Im graduating send me money!"

Ninth) I never did post about me going to see the Lil Wayne Concert and how I almost died when Drizzy came on stage & screamed out the eardrums of the 2 lil kids sitting in front of us and how I ran all the way down to the bottom to get a better look as if he was gona stage dive into the crowd. & how Electrik Red Was fucking up & everyone was like "Who the fuck are they". How I got tipsy off the margaritias we drank. How me and my best friend were the only ones who knew every Keri Hilson song besides "Turnin Me On" and how iritated we were with her Dime Diva pants and the fact she can't dance worth shit. How T-pain fucked up the mood my being his own one man band and how low budget his dancers and stage set up was, but how cool it was that he all he had to do is sing snippets of every song he was on to make a hot ass show. How sexy Travis from Gym Class Heroes is and how I know he was burnin up being dressed like he just came from New York in the winter time. How surprisingly short Lil Wayne is. How old Shannel [back up singer & she wrote prom queen] is in the face. How Kid Kids voice doesnt match his body at all. How young young money really is. How upset I was at how nervous Drizzy was on stage & how they flooded his voice with Bobby Valentino. How bomb it was that Wayne did all the hits even mixtape shit and old Wayne [The pockets hot the Pockets Hot Hot..insider]. And how everyone that was Black or Latino sat down when Prom Queen came on and every white person was super excited...hmmmmm. And how we were getting high off the contact of people smoking aorund. Was a bomb show plus we had bomb seats and bomb parking tooo.

Tenth) Im moving out of my apartment really soon [early June] and havent packed at all not even one thing...I got time right!?

With all that Im supposed to do or should have done or could have done. I can always say I get shit done. whether its late or not GOD make a way for me to get thing I need to do done. I may kick myself in the ass for taking forever to do it but I work it out and it gets done. Because Im such a procrastinator I live off of making multiple plans because I know it will take me 2 years to ever do Plan A on time. So with that being said hopefull I will get over being so lazy and do shit on fucking time!!

Drake Is Such A Good Samaritan!

2009-05-14T14:11:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I love Drake No Lie, and have been for a very long time now, Im for sure not a newbie, but if you are more power to ya, better late than never. Current Drake isn't like old Drake, each mixtape he sounds different some people like the new one better than the old ones and vice versa. Me, I like everything. Thats neither here nor there, however, I want to know why he hasn't made a video for himself, but is helping everyone else out, ies this mess and Every Girl, and being in all Trey Songz videos. I haven't seen a solo video since Replacement Girl. And for this video here Why is he just singing the hook on his own shit for another rapper. Why isn't this Drake-Still Fly featuring whoever this guy is? I don't understand, but Drizzy was looking fly in this video tho. But Ima need him to understand that he needs to start doing shit for just himself cuz Im super getting impatient lolz, I know he has thise Best I Ever Had video coming out, but when will that be?? He feeds off our anticipation I think, thats why So Far Gone took forever to come out, and also why he isn't signed yet, and also his real CD Thank Me Later keeps getting new dates ugh, Aubrey lolz. It confuses me how far ahead his career is that its still behind.

Text A Movie!

2009-05-06T17:51:00.000-07:00

I saw this and literally almost died of laughter. This has to be the funniest thing Ive seen all day, these videos are what Ive been thinkin all along. And the voices kill me.....

"This is comin from a bitch who has been rockin braids since birth"

"You had to fake a marriage, have a bastard child, start your our hairline & kill a bitch just to be relevant again"

"Ill even let you fuck my brother, tired ass hoe"

"At least Im known outside of my own city"

"First off hunnie I can see your roots again girl get some good tracks, your hair is a fool. Second do you know who the fuck I am, I was a cover girl before Destiny's Child wore the fucked up ass outfits."

"Oh well bitch I can't tell, every time I see you your falling off stage, you clumsy ass knot, && bitch please Im surpirsed you can fit those fat ass ankles in anything labeled"

"Brandy hunnie, Ima Cover Girl,do you know what that is, I can have a double chin if I want, Im still the number 1 bitch out there"

"I don't suffer from stage fright like your raspy voice ass"

"My tour is 6 million of yours combined,& I don't have to be an opening act. I am a worldwide superstar unlike you who is a local hoodrat."

"It took your lame ass three tries before you got a hit, now get the fuck outta my face. Bitch, you're done!"

"I know you are, you're Bee/Beyonce/Bey/Sasha Fierce . You have so many names I don't know which to choose. You're so lame with that whole alter ego bullshit"

"You ball headed whore who do you think you are, Ill knock the fuck outta you, Im from Atlanta bitch, I don't play with shit, now try me muthafucka."

Comeback Season

2009-05-05T19:06:00.000-07:00

I love the show Tough Love, I wish it was made years ago for me, but hey Ill take it now. It is such a great show for women to learn about what men are really thinking about us when we are out here in the dating world. I didn't realize how hard finding the love of our lives really is when we have no solid foundation. Its important for you to love yourself before you can love anyone else but most importantly for someone to love you. Before the show but unfortunately these ladies didn't know that & learned to find out why they self sabotage their relationships. I believe there is someone for everyone. Even the wolfman got kids and a wife, so you can too.

The problem however I had with this show was how relationship challenged these beezies was. Like damn, you are gettin the chance to have a match maker hook you up and you fuck up each connection. Sometimes things just don't work, but they were so afraid of finding the right guy that they would do dumb things and make crazy excuses to not make it work and to not be with the guy. The season finale just wrapped up and I was so uber pissed with Jaclyn, the girl who wanted to get married by the age of 25. She had met an outstanding guy who was willing to love her, who was better than any guy she had ever met, who not only talk the talk but walked the walk, and she let him slip away because she was soo stuck on her ex boyfriend who didn't wana marry her till he saw her with someone else. Get the fuck outta here. See thats the problem with us women we get so caught up in the "used to" that we can't move on to the new. Finding healthy relationships are about doing what is right not what is challenging to the heart. Brock, the guy she met at boot camp, was fine as hell, plus was willing to give her the world and prolly give her marriage before 25, but this dumb hoe had to go to back to the ex, the main reason she was on the show in the first place.

Ladies, we need to realize homeboy was an ex for a reason, the comeback seems ok for the moment, but honsetly he is gona go back doing the same shit yall broke up for you know why because he ain't meant for you. Its super hard to not get over an ex, I should kno and honestly I need to read this post Im typing. I have fallin vicitim to the comeback. When the guy sees you are doing mighty well that when he wants to comeback and say he had something to do with your success, and Im not going to fault everyone becuz sometimes the comeback is genuine, he really found out that you are the one and you know what you prolly are the one, but he aint the one, and thats what we need to realize. If you have the opportunity to meet someone who is 20 times better than the last, don't let "hope" fuck you up in missing out on something bomb with the new guy because you want to rekindle a flame that keeps blowing out. Risks are supposed to be taken but don't be stupid, if you were offered a chance to win a million dollas by shooting a basketball into a hoop and had an the only option to dunk or do a lay up, don't be stupid and pick the dunk for so you can look like an allstar. Meaning don't make life harder on yourself just so you can feel like you accomplished something. He feels like an accomplishment because he was there first and his comeback feels like he finally realized you are what he has been missing, so in your mind you feel all your hard work has payed off. But, in the game of love you have still have the chance of both missing out on the million dollas whether you dunk or lay it in because you can miss on either try, especially if you know nothing about how to do either. So go for the more logical, easier way to fall in love and that is the love that is effortless, that doesn't strain your heart and doesnt require you to break a major sweat.

Real love also illiminates the "what ifs", meaning that person will never allow you to say what if it doesn't work, or what if he fucks up, what if he is like the rest, because once you feel it he will SHOW you that your lips doesn't even need to utter those words. Jaclyn was sayin "What if this is meant to be with my ex because now he wants to change." And she found out the hard way that he didn't change and went back to his old ways. Men show you right off the bat what they want and how they want it in their actions, men don't beat around the bush with their feeling like women do. So if a guy doesn't like you, you will know by the way he treats you and the things he says will correlate with one another. We [and I say we meaning me too] as women always try to make excuses for the mans feelins, when in all honesty he showed you. Women look more into the way a man treats you than what he says to you. Its easier to go off words because if you are a real person, your going to thing people are being the same with you but that isn't always the case. Think of it like this, you wouldn't let a woman treat you any ol' way so why let a man do it. You wouldn't let a women steer you wrong so don't let a man do it becuse they are just as human. There is someone out there to love all of us and he will come when we least expect it, but most importantly when we are the most ready.

Yes, Im Drizzy Obsessed!

2009-05-05T11:59:00.000-07:00

I cant wait to see this man live, [again]!!

[Going to the San Bernadino Show May 22, by any means necessary!]

A Milli + 1

2009-05-05T01:25:00.000-07:00

"Do What You Do, But Watch My Shoes!"

The bad bitches right here a 2 million dolores!! Most expensive shoes in the world.

I Got That Itis!!

2009-05-04T23:57:00.000-07:00

So I said maybe about a million post ago that I would keep yall updated on my graduation journey and what Im gonna do when I graduate. Well....not much progress has been made since that post. Ill give me some credit I have talked to a few people here and there but my lazy ass has not been on it. IDK where my drive has gone, in high school I was on the effin ball people. I made sure my ass got in college and everything on time. I had super passion for wat I wanted to do, but because of the many challenges I have faced these past 4 years my dreams are starting to look cloudy. Im more scared than anything. For one reason is because everything I strived for and tried to get and make happen while I was in college failed, so I had to make a plan B and utilize it for everything. Im starting to feel the dreams I want are not wat God wants for me, either that or he is really making me work super hard to get there. Im like come on Jesus, Hook a sista up & give me a break!! I know the best of things are worth fighting for, but when I see other peoples lives jus fallin into place so easy [well maybe not easy cuz IDK wat they did to get to that point], but it just seems as though their dreams and journeys are matching their plans. I wish my life plans [wat God wants] matches wat I want and my biggest fear is that they wont.. Ima admit Im discouraged as fuck, shit it happens, everyone gets a lil flustered at times. I still have the drive enought to not give up, because I haven't even though Ive thought about it many of times. But I stopped and thought, "Kam, wat the hell are you gona do if u quit, be "normal" like the rest of the people you know?" and I would reply to myself sayin "Hells to the naw!" Wat keeps me goin is wat Ive been through, I look back and see all my struggles, all the bullshit, all the doors closed in my face, and think of all the times I opened another one. Im such a plan B type chick. If it don't work out this way I always immediately think of another way b4 I even do plan A, cuz 8 times outta 10 plan A don't ever work.[Maybe I should start makin plan B be plan A lolz]. But, it just hurts knowing that my life has been full of disappointments. but I guess that is just life. I hate going through shit. Ima stubborn person and yes I love the easy way out dammit cuz its easy, who wouldnt. Im not tryin to get the ticket to no where cuz everyone goes there. I wana go somewhere, somewhere where nobody goes, but where everyone would dream to be. And Im trying to get there on the hook up lolz.

I have senioritis right now. Actually Ive had it since I was a senior in high school and was never properly cured. Im just ready to be done with school for the fact Ive been doing this shit since I was 3 and dammit Im over this relationship! But, its all I know! All I know is school and if I had any type of money, I would stay in that shit [but, I gets no more Cal Grant or Scholarchips after 4years..womp!!]. But, I can say I have been blessed to have gone through this with out any loans. [My parents not bein there payed off in the end lolz]. But most importantly [somethin I fail to relize] is that I FUCKIN DID THE DAMN THANG!! I am a college graduate and did that shit right after high school in 4 years and alot of muthafuckas wont/cant say that shit but wud love to. I made it out with no babies or drug habits or super crazy in love relationships or any other major distraction that are thrown your way normally in a young womans life around this time try and stop her from finishing school. Even so, I have been through some challenges by fuckin far, but nothin too much that God didn't feel I couldn't handle and nothin too much to where he felt I needed. I graduate May 24th at 8am from San Diego State University with a Bachelours of Arts in Interdiciplinary Studies specializing in Communication, Journalism & Media Studies, & Sociology and I know for a fact it will not be in vain.

[Peep The Grad Photo...hot huh? I did my hair and make up myself cuz Im livin on a budget lolz]

I Need to Keep Up With The Kardashians!!

2009-05-03T18:14:00.000-07:00

So it is an evident fact that the Kardashians love to keep interracial ballers in the fam bam!! && I aint mad atcha!! Do yo thang Khlo Khlo!